Savin Me • Lashton

Savin Me • Chapter Four

Luke
-- after he talked to Ashton --

Walking out of Ashtons room, I sighed softly, leaning on the wall. I just showed him my scars, the ones I hated looking at, they reminded me of too much...  Just about every time I see them, I cried. I couldn't help it... And not because they're there, it's because they're the reminders of why I put them there in the first place. It's the memories they left that makes me cry. I just, broke down. Like now. Sliding down the wall beside Ashton's door with silent tears streaming down my face. I let out a slight sob, thankful that everyone was in bed, and I was the only doctor getting around, the rest are in the staff house, because they can never really go home, just in case something happens at unearthly hours of the night. I sat in the cold floor, hugging my knees to my chest, my face buried in my knees, quiet sobs escaping past my lips and echoing slightly through the empty halls. I cried for what felt like ages, ignoring the random arms going around me. Instead of looking at the person, I just snuggled into them, sobbing into their chest. the only thing about the person that I knew was that it was a male. But I didn't care who it was, right now, they were comforting me in, as Dr Smith always put it, my time of need. 

"Shh Lukey.. It'll be okay..." Ashton. The weak-ish boy gently put me on his lap, me being lip would be unhelpful, but I didn't care right now. "The past is something you can never get over. Especially when everyday you look at constant reminders of it. Scars being it. They leave sad memories, they bring back the pain  you once felt. And even if you don't do it again, because you can't bring yourself to do it again, you still cry, because the memories are sad and depressing. Your scars may bring back painful memories, but, just like you said to me 3 years ago, they also remind you that, even if you did harm yourself, you did survive the pain you went through, that at least you're still here. Before I started... cutting..... If I was ever sad or pissed of, I would just sit behind my drum set and have at it, ignoring my parents pleas to shut the fuck up. I would just play until I felt better, and it always worked... but then my parents took away my kit... so I ended up doing something worse.... What I'm trying to say is, the past is the past. And even with constant reminders of it, at least we're still here, at least we didn't grow our wings too early." I sniffled and looked up at him, he had tears running down his own face, which broke my heart, he was smiling, a small, sad smile. Which I returned. 

"Before... Before I started it.. if I was upset, I'd just blast my music and take a walk.... Hell, even when I did, I still took a walk, it calmed me down. But the moment my parents saw my scars... they sent me here. I've never forgiven them for that, but I have thanked them for it. With out them sending me head, I wouldn't have recovered... I wouldn't have met Cal... I would'y have my job. Hell... if they didn't send me here, I could have easily been dead a few years. But thanks to them, I'm not. And like you said. yes. Scars are a memory of the past, but the past is the past. And even with constant reminders of it, at least we're still here, at least we didn't grow our wings too early." I smiled, an actual happy smile, which he returned instantly. After that, I cuddled into him, hiding my face in his neck, him resting his chin on my head. We just sat silently, me not caring that he was out of his room past curfew. I didn't want to move. I don't want this to end. If I could stay like this with him forever, I'd be fine. 

---
Ashton

I held Luke in my arms for what felt like hours. I enjoyed the silence, the only sound that could be heard was our very quiet breathing. The thing I loved about Luke the most is that he's very open and very cuddly. He'd tell you anything if you asked, and he's always up for cuddling. Which made me happy. I loved cuddling with him. Then again. I loved him. I've loved him for 3 years. And i don't care how sappy I sound, but I love everything about him. His smile. His laugh. His eyes. His boys. His style. His music sense. Everything. And I don't care if he knows. I'd prefer him to know then to have to pretend that I'm not head over heals for the literal sex-on-legs therapist, that just so happens to be my therapist, and gay. I looked down at him after about an hour and a half, to find that the poor boy was sound asleep, tear stains covering his cheeks. Somehow managing to stand up, and carry him, I went into my room, kicking the door shut, and laid him in my bed, before getting in myself and cuddling into the bed. defiantly not expecting him to cuddle up to me, but then again, he loves cuddles. Smiling I wrapped my arm around him, burring my face in his hair and falling asleep myself

---

I was awoken by movement beside me, and loud, sleepy groans. Luke. Opened my eyes, I blinked a few times to get use to the light, as i had forgotten to shut my curtains, and, annoyingly, my room was on the side that the sun rose. When I could open my eyes with out wincing at the brightness, I looked at Luke, whom had hidden his face him my chest, mumbling something along the lines of "Stupid sun waking me up." which made me chuckle. He jumped a little and looked up at me, his cheeks going red when he saw me. I just smiled. "You fell asleep last night so I allowed you to sleep in here, because I don't know where your room is..." I smiled at him, as he smiled sleepily at me.

"Thank Ash." Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. His morning voice. Fuck me. I wish he would. I mean. heh. Stupid morning voice. It's so fucking hooooot. It's deeper then usual and I think I'm dead. I watched him as he dropped his head back onto the pillow, sighed slightly. "hey Ashy?" As I couldn't be bother speaking, I made a sound to get him to continue. "Thank you for last night. It's been a while since someones actually done that. I usually cry when I'm in my room so no one notices... Unless Calum comes in at unearthly hours of the night to cuddle because he had a nightmare or whatever, which doesn't happen often. So I want to thank you, it means a lot." He smiled sweetly at me, me quickly returning it.

"It's fine Lukey. You'd do the same for me."

"Hey Ashton... Can I try something please?" He looked up at me, a nervous expression on his face, making me raise an eyebrow.

"Go ahead..." I said, my voice coming out  with a slight nervous tone. What was he going to do? Luke bit his lip for a few seconds, and I had to hold in a groan. But before I knew it, I felt a pair of soft lips on mine, making my eyes go wide, and I almost instantly kissed back. Once I did, Luke relaxed, pressing his lips to mine a little more, resting a hand on my hips, my arm was still around him. I smiled a little against his lips. When he pulled away after a few seconds, I pouted, making him chuckle at me quietly. We laid in silence for a bit after, just staring at each other, Luke occasionally furrowing his eyebrows and fixing small strands of my hair into place, making me laugh, which he'd join in on. 

"hey Lukey?"

"mm?'

"Why'd you... Why'd you kiss me exactly? I mean I'm not complaining... I actually really liked it, I'm just curious." Luke just shrugged in response and smiled at me.

"Well Ashton. I think It may have something to do with the fact that I've loved you for 3 years." His cheeks turned a light pink colour as he said that, but I just froze. 

"Y-you love me?' He nodded at my question, hiding his face.

"Yep." I smiled widely and made him look up at me. 

"Well that's good because i love you too." And with that, I pressed my lips to his again.

--
A/N

This is sorta shitty, but sorta isn't. I like it but I don't. Ohh well publishing it anyway ^_^
THE GIF ON THE SIDE (Or the top if you're on phone/iPod) IS FUCKING ADORABLE. ASHTON IN GLASSES GIVES ME MASSIVE ASHTON FEELS MAN :'( UGH
Annyywaaayyy
I love the new cover, what do you people think of it? c:
I hope you enjoyed this good, but not so good chapter ^_^
please vote and comment -puppy eyes-
LOVE YOU ALLLL

- tayyza xo