I Dare You to Move

Mixed Emotions

I woke up the next morning with a massive headache. I groaned and grabbed my head as I sat up. I walked across the hall to my bathroom and frowned when I looked into the mirror.

I looked a mess.

My eyes were puffy and red. My head was throbbing and I looked like a chipmunk. I walked over to the shower and turned it on.

I removed my clothes from my body and stepped into the warm, comforting water. The steam calmed my nerves almost instantly.

That was when everything sunk in.

Phoebe is dead.

She's never coming back.

My legs got wobbly so I sat down under the shower head and let all of my emotions go.

First, I was sad.

My best friend is dead and I'm never going to see her again. She killed herself.

Then I got angry.

She killed herself.

How could she? She just swallowed a bottle of pills and everything was fine. Really? She thought that she couldn't talk to anybody? She thought she couldn't talk to me?

And then I was sad again.

She thought she couldn't talk to anybody. She couldn't trust anyone.

I got angry again.

She couldn't talk to me.

It wasn't because she couldn't, it's because she didn't want to. She didn't trust me? Is that it? Why? What did I ever do to her to betray that trust?

Was I just to honest sometimes? Did I make it seem like she couldn't come to me? We were best friends for Christ's sake! She new everything about me.

Everything.

I trusted Phoebe with my life. And yet, she just couldn't do the same.

And again, I ask, why?

I exited the shower and tried to make myself look like I hadn't been crying all night, even though everyone knew I was.

I walked down the stairs and saw my mom talking to somebody on the phone, in the kitchen.

"Okay, bye." She hung up the phone.

My mom walked over to me and wrapped me in a hug. "Hi honey. How do you feel?" She asked.

How am I supposed to feel?

***

A/N

Ahh! It's super short, I know! Don't kill me!

I told you guys the next few chapters are just going to be filler chapters. It just seems to soon to actually jump into the story. You know what I mean?

Anyway, for those of you who might think it's unreal to have mixed emotions about something like this, it's not. One of my friends wanted to kill herself, and that's how I felt. So if you got something negative to say, don't.

I can take constructive criticism, but not someone blatantly being rude. Ok?

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