From Bleeding Heart to Bleeding Brain

15th March, 2000

"Aleesa, Ina ki ke?" Where are you? My mother shouted from somewhere outside my room.

"Inna!" Mother! "I'm in the girl's room!"

Normally, it was only respectful to stand up and meet her where ever she was. But the day before, she told me to skip school and stay put in my room. She didn't need to tell me why; my sister went through the same system when she was ripe for marriage. Back then, my remaining six siblings and I went to school while she stayed at home in the girls' room and waited for Inna to give her 'the talk'.

I was seated on a mat, wearing a short skirt that exposed my legs, which were spread on the cold mud floor. I pushed out my chest with my hands placed against the ground for support.

Inna came in.

"Aleesa...",

Her jaw dropped. She looked shocked, probably because a good portion of my legs were exposed. In fact, every bit of my arms was exposed and so was my chest. Unlike most Muslim homes in Kaduna, Baba and Inna did not enforce long gowns or skirts on us, neither did they enforce the entire covering of the body. Even though they were quite free with our clothing, there were certain things we definitely could not wear outside, such as my outfit combination at that moment.

Nonetheless, Inna did not look offended. I mean, it was only her seeing me so bare, but the fact I had such in my wardrobe was rather questionable.

With time, Inna closed her mouth and loosened up with a chuckle.

"I know what you are doing." She said with a smile.

I blushed, shyly. But I couldn't look shy. I must look ready and mature.

Unlike most of my age mates in SS2, I looked forward to marriage. Although I was bright in class, I was tired of school and of living in Baba's house, and my mates that were already married to rich men looked like they were living the dream. Unfortunately, although my body was 17 years old, it looked as if it was only 12. I had a very slim figure, and I was average in height. You could tell me from a boy, but only mildly. The most feminine things about my body were my hips and thighs, which I felt the former were little too wide . I had smooth fair skin, which gave me a babyish look, not helping matters.

The fact Inna wanted to have this talk with me despite my looks was very surprising. So, I tried my best to look as feminine and mature as possible, so she wouldn't change her mind in the spur of the moment.

I eventually smiled back to ease myself from the awkwardness of the moment. Gazing at Inna, I realized I was her carbon copy.

"Anyways," Inna said, moving slowly towards me as she helped herself to join me on the mat.

"I can see you know why I'm here", she continued, holding in laughter.
"But I will say it either ways: Aleesa, how old are you?"

"17."

"Do you know your mates have been married since 13 years of age?"

"Yes, Inna"

"And do you know the longer we keep you, the harder it will be to find a husband?"

"Yes, Inna"

She adjusted her sitting position so that she could get a better look of body"
"You are already ripe for marriage, in fact, you are almost getting too old to find a wealthy unmarried husband, and only Allah knows how long Baba and I would wait for your breasts to be fully grown before letting you get married."

My heart fluttered.

"Inna, marriage will not stop my body from growing, in fact, it will make it grow faster. See how fully grown Hakeemat is", I told my mother softly.

"Yes, your sister is okay now, but at least she was a bit mature at your age; you still look like a child".

Hakeemat, my only older sibling, already warned me about the talk. She said I should expect Inna to make me feel like I was not ready, but that was only to trigger an argument and make me feel like I should convince her that I was ready for it.

"Inna, I feel that I'm ready for marriage. Do I already have suitors?"

"Yes, you do. But I would have preferred it if you were the first wife, and none of them are unmarried."

"Okay Inna, I would start looking for husband, an unmarried rich man who can pay any bride price for that matter."

We laughed for a bit, then I continued,
"And I will tell you if I ever find such a combination."

Inna smiled at me and then her eyes moved to the clock in the room and her face dropped.

"Alright my dear. Oya, hurry, go and get dressed to go to mosque, it is already one o'clock." She quickly stood up from the mat, took a step forward and then looked at me.

I could not read her mind, but I hoped I convinced her.

"Okay, Inna", I said and she nodded, and she made her way to the door and then left the room.