the bucket list → michael clifford [a.u]

chapter two

It seemed like a never ending queue of people, all lined up like it was some sort of show, their hearts being shown on their sleeves as their red eyes and broken words wished Olivia and her mother all the best, their condolences were dished out, falling from their lips like a script and Olivia was sick of it. She could feel her chest tightening as she kept eye contact with the gentleman in front of her, his wiry grey hair out of control as he bent his head down and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's hand, before turning to her mother and falling into deep conversation about something the brunette girl knew she probably wouldn't care about.

The 'gathering' had been going on for almost an hour and Olivia itched to get away, her head was spinning with all the names and meaningless words which were being thrown at her and the girl just needed space, she needed to just take a minute to herself. She hadn't been alone since that day in the hospital and although Olivia knew her mother needed the strength to help her pull through, the younger Mason craved the serenity of being by herself.

Her dark eyes watched the room intently, everyone seemed preoccupied with each other, their conversations droning on as they piled their plates high with the free food which was being supplied. Out of the corner of her eye, Olivia could see three out of the four boys messing around behind a table, their laughter was muffled as the sandy haired boy had a tight grip on the tall blonde one, his lips curved up into a sweet smile as he tried to pull his arm away, the other dark haired boy had his arms wrapped tightly around his own body as he tried to force back his giggles. They were trying to entertain themselves as sensibly as possible but Olivia could tell they were desperate to break free from the saddening atmosphere and fall into a silly routine she bet they had down to a T.

Without even realizing, Olivia's eyes had suddenly started looking for the other part of their crew, Michael, the green haired boy she had found herself falling into conversation with before. There was something about his soothing voice that Olivia craved and she was desperate to just hear him say one more thing, just one more word which would easily help control her emotions. But he was nowhere to be seen.

A frown crept up on her features and the girl decided she needed to break free, she found herself craving a cigarette and the feeling of fresh air against her bare arms so she moved as quickly as she could, making sure she made no eye contact with someone so they couldn't drag her back into another boring conversation. Quickly passing through the crowd, Olivia found her way to the front door with ease, pulling her satchel from off the coat hanger, she slung the strap over her shoulder quickly before slipping through the threshold of the door, shutting it as quietly as she could, sneaking down the path.

Olivia didn't walk for long, luckily her house stood by itself at the back of a cul-de-sac, making it easy for the brunette to find a deserted wall to sit on, being less than careful not to crinkle or dirty her pristine dress. Her nimble fingers fumbled through her bag until she caught hold of the half empty packet, pulling a fresh cigarette from out of its confinements and placing it between her broken lips, quickly taking another fumble around for her lighter. She craved the sweet sensation of the buzz that nicotine gave her so a small sigh slipped through her lips when she finally found the lighter, flicking it and watching the flame ignite before she placed it at the end of the long stick, inhaling deeply when the leaves took to the flame.

Throwing the lighter back into the bottom of her bag, Olivia leaned forward, the cigarette perched between her fingers and she let out a sob. She wasn't sure where it came from, but her barrier had slowly began to crumble and the girl found herself silently crying as she placed the cigarette between her lips, taking another huff of the stuff. Her lips were trembling as she tried to pull herself back, she tried to get a grip on the reality which was slowly falling from her. But she wasn't sure how she could, everything seemed to be against her, it felt like a wave which she was sure she would drown in.