Derek: Shattered

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I couldn’t believe it, my family wasn’t dead. How could they be dead? It didn’t make any sense. The firemen had just stopped my house from burning to the ground completely, and the only survivor was my uncle Peter who had already been loaded into the ambulance and rushed off to hospital.
Laura was talking to the sheriff and fighting back the tears that were trying to break free just as I was although I still couldn’t believe it. I had just seen them all that morning before I went to school. My parents were relieved when they heard the news that I was going to stop my destructive behaviour and now I was never going to see them again. My mother and father, younger sister Cora, my grandma, uncle Aaron and his wife Victoria, my aunt Samantha and my cousins were all just . . . Gone but why? I wanted to know why. The fire was being ruled a freak accident but I knew better, it wasn’t an accident!
First it was Tane’s family and now mine.
It could have been Kate. My inner wolf suggested although I hoped he, I hoped that I was wrong. I was going to go to her house and see if I could get some answers.
I smelt her scent before I looked up to see Kristin running towards me. I was going to tell her to leave and to go away but I couldn’t. Instead I opened my arms and clung to her.
The sobs started next as I failed to hold back the tears and they streamed down my face.
“I’m so sorry,” Kristin spoke as she held me tighter and we started to shrink towards the ground. I couldn’t stand anymore and my knees had fallen out beneath me. The only reason I hadn’t fallen straight to the ground was because of Kristin who lowered us gently.
“So sorry,” Kristin repeated as her arms stayed wrapped around me. It felt like we had never broken up, like we had never parted ways.
We stayed like that until it was just us and Laura left at the house. The quietness was eerie and strange and reminded me of all the people that were gone forever.
“I’m going to the hospital please take care of him,” I heard Laura speak before she got in the car and drove away.
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with Cory?” I asked as I pulled away and Kristin handed me a few tissues form her pocket. I blew my nose and dried my face. I knew I looked horrible but I didn’t care.
“I’m not with Cory I haven’t been with anyone. I’m still in love you.”
“Why did you break up with me?” I was very confused.
“It’s going to sound stupid.” Kristin shook her head and looked down at the ground avoiding my eyes.
“Tell me please” I begged. I needed to know and I needed a distraction.
“When Alyssa was hurting you I felt like she was torturing me too, and when I thought you were dead I felt myself start to die inside and it really scared me, just how much I loved you and I ran away from it. The last time I loved somebody it turned out he didn’t love me back. I’m sorry I messed up so badly. I was going to beg you to forgive me but then I saw you with her,” Kristin was fighting back tears, “I’m so sorry.” Kristin sniffled.
“So it wasn’t to be with Cory?”
“No!” Kristin exclaimed, “The only person I want is you.”
“I wish you had of told me sooner.” Especially if it was Kate who burned the house down. I couldn’t think about that as a possibility not yet, because if it was true, it meant it was my entire fault that my family had perished in the fire.
“I know me too,” Kristin leaned her face against mine and kissed away the few tears that had escaped down my face. I hadn’t even realised I was crying again. Usually I would have been embarrassed but I didn’t care if it made me look weak or pathetic because I was with Kristin.
“I’ve missed you.” I replied and Kristin’s lips moved closer to mine.
“Why do I get the feeling you are saying goodbye?” She asked. It was like she could read my mind, it’s not like I said I will miss you or anything obvious, but I didn’t have to because she read through my words.
“Laura will probably gain guardianship over me and move us some where closer to family friends.” I spoke with regret.
I hadn’t just lost my family well technically more like 75% of them and I was also going to lose Kristin too.
“Can’t you stay?” Kristin’s lips were just millimetres from mine as she spoke and I wanted to tell her yes. I wanted to stay but I knew I couldn’t. It would be too much, too painful for me to handle.
“I wish I could.”
“I’m going to miss you so much.” Kristin spoke before she pressed her lips against mine and it broke my heart because I knew it was a goodbye kiss which I never wanted to end. She smelt so sweet like candy and coconut and as I rested my hand on her cheek I felt the softness of her warm skin, and I knew I was going to miss Kristin more than she could ever know.
I don’t know how long the kiss lasted for but it must have been a while because when we finally pulled away the sun was beginning to set and painting the sky in vivid pink, orange and red colours.
“There’s something I need to do.” I spoke after I reluctantly pulled away. I had to go to Kate’s. I had to know if she had used me to get to my family.
“I’ll drive.” Kristin replied as she stood to her feet.
“You don’t need to do that.” I stood to my feet.
“I know but I want to.”
“I’m going to her house.”
“I can wait in the car.”
I knew there was no point in arguing. Kristin was determined to be by my side and I didn’t want to be alone either.
“Okay,” I grabbed her hand and we started to walk to her car.
I told her where to go and even though we were headed to the woman’s house in which I had a very sexual relationship with Kristin didn’t care. She even asked me about Kate and how I felt and I told her the truth. I loved Kristin although before my family were burnt alive I was starting to fall for Kate, it was becoming more than just sex.
“I’ll just be waiting here.” Kristin forced a smile as she parked across the street. It was the first time she had shown any jealously since we started the drive to Kate’s house.
“Thanks I won’t be long.” I stole a quick kiss reminding Kristin that it was her that I loved.
I noticed Kate’s car was gone and as I peered into the dark windows I couldn’t see anything or hear anything, and then I saw the for Lease sign stuck on two wooden poles which were sticking into the dirt. I don’t know how I missed it the first time.
My chest tightened and I felt like someone had just stuck a bag over my head. I felt like I was suffocating and then my knees buckled and I crashed to the ground grasping at my chest.
It was my fault. I had killed my family. Kate was using me and I played straight into her hands. My family had suffered because of me!
I screamed in frustration and growled as I punched at the ground. How was I meant to live with myself knowing what I had done?
“Derek?” Kristin was by my side and her face was full of panic as she stared down at me.
I gasped desperately trying to suck in more air, I still felt like I was suffocating. I still couldn’t breathe.
“Derek what is it? You need to breathe!” Kristin grabbed my face and held it in between her hands, “Breathe Derek! Focus on me.” She forced me to concentrate.
After a few long minutes and many deep breaths I was finally able to breathe again, although the pain inside my chest didn’t dull, and it still felt like someone was cutting up my torso. I knew it was grief that was causing me pain, and there was nothing I could do to make that go away.
“Don’t do that again!” Kristin sighed in relief and I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her so she was lying beside me.
“And don’t forget about me to quickly.” Kristin smirked up at me although I could see the sadness and devastation in her eyes.
“You know I won’t.” I held her close. She was the only reason I wasn’t shattered in pieces on the ground. Plus she literally saved my life after Alyssa killed me.

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