The Lovers of Life

CHAPTER XVII - THE MORTAL MARIONETTE

"I have a problem that I cannot explain,
I have no reason why it should have been so plain,
I have no questions but I sure have excuse,
I lack the reason why I should be so confused,
I know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you"

Roulette – Steal This Album! - System of a Down

I went up to my room when Matthew left. It was a small smelly room with dust on the floor. My nose wrinkled as I light all the candles I could find. I loathed being alone in darkness. I sat down on the edge of my bed and started to read the book my father had forgotten in the inn's common room.

"Good evening, Miss," said a familiar voice from behind me.

"Christian!" I said jumping to my feet.

He smiled as he strolled across the room and kissed my cheeks. Oh, and such a kiss it was.

"I haven't long," said Christian.

But why would I care! I was so glad to see him, even if it was only for a few minutes. Oh, how I'd wanted to talk to him and how long he had stayed away. But he seemed better, less childlike and more like a man. He seemed to know where he was headed and eager to be finished with it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner," he said apologetically as if he knew what I had been thinking. "I came as soon as I could, dearest."

Oh, he seemed so sorry and he was so cute with his small smile and staring eyes. I grinned at him, oh anything he'd say I would trust.

"Have you asked about your mother?" asked Kayeh.

"Aye! And she was murdered," I whispered sitting back on my bed.

"Oh, that's what I thought," said Kayeh under his breath.

"What? You knew?" I asked astonished.

"I had my idea – but never mind, my dear – would you like to meet your mother?" he asked seriously.

"Helena says I can't – but oh, how I'd like to avenge her!" I said suddenly without considering what I was saying.

Christian's eyes gleamed manically for a moment.

"Would you really?" he asked in a frighteningly intense whisper.

I stared at him. My mouth had gone very dry. I could feel my hand shaking in my lap.

"You want to avenge your mother, destroy the one who killed her?" he asked quickly.

"I – I don't think so – I couldn't," I stuttered, terrified as Christian bore down over me. Even though I was angry my mother had been taken away from me, could I kill?

He seemed to deflate and he took a few steps backwards. I was still trembling. How could he be an adorable childlike person one moment and a monster scaring the Hell out of me the next? Christian smiled and I thought his teeth were red.

"I think you can kill him," he said calmly.

I shook my head silently as Christian paced up and down the room, thinking. I tried to make myself invisible. He was about to talk again, but I didn't want him to talk about murdering anymore.

"Go away!" I shouted clamping my hands over my ears. "Leave me alone!"

Oh, but your are alone, said a cold voice in my mind.

And so I was.

I sat shaking on my bed for a while before slipping under its thin covers. I fell asleep, leaving all the candles flaming.