brainchild | z.m. & n.h. au

x.

Niall has taken to sitting in his room when the other patients get too rowdy. It’s not that he’s afraid, although that usually is the case, it’s just that the more voices there are prodding at his brain, the more difficult it is to distinguish between them. Real or not real, real or not real, real or not real? Despite popular belief, the Irish boy is trying to keep himself as sane as possible.

But sometimes the ceiling is leaky and his windows are sososo thin that he feels the water on his skin like a thousand tiny needles. He’s surprised he has yet to bleed out all over the white sheets of iron bed…but that’d make the nurses angry. The last thing he wants is for another human being to hate him from the inside out.

With a deep breath, Niall tries to concentrate on the book in his hand. He’s been giving poetry a go and, even though it’s not particularly his thing, he’d like to take solace in words on a piece of paper rather than his own head.

He’s struggling on an exceptionally long word when he feels the mattress shift. The disturbance makes him jump a little, like his bones are momentarily knocked out of place, and before he can completely drop his book there’s a familiar hand on his knee. Niall can breathe again.

“Bit jumpy, are we?” Zayn says, smiling softly as he sits against the wall next to the Irish boy, knocking their shoulders together.

Niall blushes and nods his head sheepishly, closing the book he has resting on his knees.

“What’re you reading there?” the raven’s voice is soft like sand beneath his feet and Niall is absolutely melting. When he doesn’t exactly respond, Zayn wraps an arm around him and pulls him closer to his side, picking up the book in his lap and giving it a quick inspection.

“I like this one.”

“Really?” Niall turns his head just enough to catch the boy’s smile.

“Yeah,” Zayn whispers, lips and voice and breath close to his ear. He hooks his chin over the smaller boy’s shoulder and rests his hand on his stomach, warm through the thin cotton fabric. “Mind if I read along with you?”

Niall’s cheek heat up as he reopens the book back to the page he was on, propping it up against his knees which had been pressed against his chest. They sit like that for a while, both boys trying to concentrate on the page and Zayn doing a far better job, no doubt. But Niall’s just so comfortable and safe and before he knows it he’s completely cuddled into the older boy’s side, head resting below his chin and arms curled hesitantly around him. He can’t help the way his hand fiddles with the front of Zayn’s shirt, can’t help the way his fingers trace idly at the tattoos he knows are hidden beneath the white.

Zayn concentrates on reading the page out loud in soft murmurs that remind Niall of clouds, or what it must be like to be a part of one. He figures the raven must be primarily composed of clouds and stardust and whatever it is that makes the sky appear blue. He feels this in the way Zayn entwines their fingers together and doesn’t stop him from resting his lips against his collarbone. And he’s not sure what this means, what any of this means, but he hasn’t felt this way in a long time and sometimes it’s alright to breathe without knowing why.

Zayn chuckles and squeezes his fingers, “You tired, sweetheart?”

Niall shivers at the nickname the same way he did when the raven first used it and makes an embarrassing little sound in the back of his throat that provokes another laugh. “You’re warm,” is all the Irish boy can manage to say.

“And you’re cold, so I guess we balance each other out.”

“You really think that’s true?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you ‘bout something like that, love.”

Niall breathes in, breathes out, tries to stop himself from crying because that is absolutely ridiculous. “Thank you, Zayn.”

…

Niall smiles for the first time during a session and the doctor removes his glasses as if he doesn’t want to see. “How have you been feeling, Niall?”

The boy in question thinks for a few seconds too short, “Better.”

…

[a/n: hiiii guys I really hope you like this chapter, I really loved writing it! And I updated quicker this time which is an accomplishment for me, haha. Exams are more or less finished and hopefully I’ll have a lot more time to write c: anyway, please let me know what you think. You know I love to hear from you! – summer]