do you think he sees me as just a pretty face?

to the different yous

10:32pm, january 26 2018

i can feel myself changing

myself

for him

the way i changed myself

for you.

it's a different type of change,

and i've had so much

taken and warped,

i'm not sure 

what's real and what's not.

i lash out, i lash out -

what i put in,

it's what i'm getting out.

lies & fuckups for food,

and i'm eating my feelings.

stable song playing

and i'm in the depths of

my malnutrition

and it's putting my brain in drought -

i can't focus 

with this mix up

who's in my mind at night

and who's there in the day.

night&day like the change 

that i've made accidentally.

problems that i can console

with eating my fucking feelings. 

(a different man took this from me

and i've been wrong ever since -

i lived like you because it worked for you 

& i changed myself,

i wanted you to want me (only kinda too).)