Conner didn't mean it... did he? The chance of him making it to this park in the middle of nowhere was a sliver. The park I was in was miles away from where he was... Or was it? I curled up on the park bench, my head resting on the chilly wood as I waited for the heavy bop of sneakers bounding my way.
He'd promised, right? I couldn't lift my phone two inches before my face to read the text, my vision too blurred by tears to read. He begged me not to leave... How much would be left of me? Why was I crying even more? Wasn't I satisfied with the fact that he really was going through the effort to get here? Was that why? The thought of Charlie transformed in my brain, did I do something stupid? I hate change, so why did I do something that's bound to have a butterfly effect?
The brittle chill swept up and down my spine... I felt helpless the longer I waited. I simply wanted to hide away, no one cares about the teen crying about her eternal life's worth on a park bench, so why did the looks pinprick my anxiety? The looks pierced my ozone. The looks poked me open like a Sunnyside-up egg. The music was my only barrier, I turned it up. I was battered by what felt like meteors as I curled up into a human planet. I couldn't even take in the beautiful senary around me, everything looked like mush as my eyes failed to focus on nothing but my converse. Stupid geese. They tug at my laces again, I slip off my shoes.
Oh, the rush came like a sweeping whisper. I zonked out for god knows how long before I felt it. Sneakers. The patter of sneakers rekindled my hope. Did I get up? My body crashed back down to the bench making me gasp, I'm bound to get a good bruise on my rump. Conner clung to me like a tongue to a frozen pole. I couldn't begin to comprehend why or how another human could hold me so close and look at me the way I dreamed boys would. His smile brightened my cheeks even at a damn time like this. God, I suddenly hated myself for crying, mauled against the bench by his excessive affection. I pushed him away, my chest too tight to comprehend why. Every worry, doubt, the ounce of love I had for Charlie, dissolved into love for Conner. He didn't look hurt, he looked too loving to care. How did he even look at me? He crawled back, he didn't even bat an eye at my impulsive refusal to let him hold me. I spun 180 to turn away from him... I simply couldn't let him see me cry. His hands made little goosebumps raise over my shoulder blades. They crept up my spine before he plastered my back to his chest. He strapped onto me like a belt.
"Shh, it's okay I'm here now," Conner chided, his voice soothing me to the max. Everything in that moment seemed to stop. There's a gentle whisper of colon laced with his clothes and mint in his breath. The scent of him blessed my nose like a rose garden. He gave a gracious bear hug to my back, willing the power to attack my body from shutting down. I couldn't bear to shut down on him now. For once the feeling of a razor for relief couldn't ever compare to this. He left my back with a thousand kisses, brushing over all the X's that were scarred along my body. It's sad in a sickening way. He was unaware of all the visible scars I hid under my sleeves, unaware of my scattering subconscious, unaware of how I felt for him. He didn't remove his hands from my spine, dipping deeper into another hug. I whimpered, wanting to ask him to stop as he snuggled into my hair... His cheek inching closer to my neck. He cupped my cheek just by feel, we're both blind. He knew what I wanted. I wanted him... And only him. I had him at this very moment, and I never wanted him to remove his embrace. He didn't move for a long time, sitting strapped to me like a lizard to a rock. My eyes were damp with tears as he held my heart. Compassionate comfort lulled me to shore.
"Hey, you still with me?" Conner whispered, deep and deafening in my ear like a deep kittens purr. I nodded, hoping it translated into the movement of my hair swishing up and down his body. I could sleep, doze off into Dreamland in his pillow like arms as his heart thrummed against me. His hands reached for mine, for once they persperated little specks of sweat... He was nervous, almost as nervous as I was for letting him hold me in public. The snake in my throat coiled harder; you're so foolish, let him love you. I Silently screamed as I twisted in his arms and pressed my lips to his. I simply invited him in before the voice in my head got louder. As our lips touched I relaxed completely like liquid glass into the mould his arms become. The touch of my lips made his hands rush around me, feeling up my torso just to hold me there for a few seconds longer.
"Ah, shit..." We mumbled in unison. He finally caught sight my eyes for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. His own face began to reflect my own, cloudy, amber eyes. I could see myself in them, frail and frayed like dead ends. The littlest hint of desire lingered in his cute eyes. He can never endure what I do... I'd break. I went in for another kiss, chipping and carving his lips around mine. He pecked back now and then, adorable. My hands lingered on his chest as he cooed at me as if I was a swan, so delicate and pure. I was the opposite of delicate. I was broken and far from innocent... But he's forcing me to realize I deserve the world and more. His fingers preened through my feather-soft hair. The rush of adrenaline began to catch up as I collapsed into his chest.
"Mm I'm sorry," I mumbled first, drying my cheeks against his linen hoping salty tears wouldn't leave a stain. He was smiling like a hyena by the time my curious eyes lept back to his. A daffodil smile curated under his nose, he knew I was vulnerable but he didn't take advantage of it... He's not Charlie. He knows me too well. His hands flitted up and down my spine, stacking up even more reasons for me to cry over spilt milk. He was too beautiful, too sweet, god he was my Romeo. I could care less about why he was really here... I just cared about all there reasons he was. He took me back to shore, the water calming its sky-high tides the longer I listened to his heartbeat.
"Did you have a chance to look around? There were spectacular flowers but I couldn't find any as beautiful as you," Conner flirted in the only way he knew how which made me grin like mad. I scrunched up my nose and gently hummed before forcing my sore throat to croak something back,
"Well, I guess you've picked the best. If my brain would've given me a little time maybe I would've looked around before losing myself on a park bench." He swept a thumb under and over my cheeks, watching me attempt to tug away his hand as I broke out blushing. I couldn't look away... The sight of him already made my heart bloom. The geese make a kind of awed squawk as if they could relate. Half of them probably banged one of their countless cousins.
"C'mon M'lady," Conner cooed, removing his hand from my face and tugging out a pink carnation from behind his back. My brain couldn't make sense of how it didn't get squashed. "Let me take you to the garden."
YOU ARE READING
Mid-Life Crisis (WIP)
Novela Juvenil"A work on progress should be put on my life!" Chloe is a fifteen year old girl who struggles into a new lifestyle in efforts to get rid of her grizzy past lover. Along the way her summer expirences are getting interesting. She gets thrown into the...
