Georgia's Last Words

Chapter Nineteen

It’s the first day of classes for Spring Semester. Usually it is pretty laid back, but my classes seem to have gotten hard overnight. I have a bunch of homework already and it’s only the second class of the day. There’s only one more class today, and two tomorrow. Thankfully, I have Cooper in most the classes considering the fact that we are both taking the basic freshman classes. 

But to top off my day, I get to go see my counselor. It’ll be the first time since my visit to Georgia. I’m not quite sure if it was successful since I feel no different. The reaction I had seemed to be only temporary, lasting only that day. In fact, the stress from today and thinking about last week is in fact making me feel even worse. 

The weight is heavy on my shoulders and everyone is pissing me off. My teachers are irritating me with their lectures about stupid things. The students that talk are causing me to think strongly about hitting them. Cooper and his constant nagging, well that speaks for itself. 

I walk along the path that leads away from my last class to my dorm room. There’s so many people outside, all waddled up in thick winter coats hoping to keep out the frigid snow and wind. Hurriedly I make my way into the dorms, hiding myself away from the cold. With a few quick pushes, I manage to make it to my own room. I turn the key in the lock and swing my door open. 

Haley is laying on her stomach across her bed. “Hey Skylar!” She sits up and hurries over to me, wrapping me up in a hug. 

“Hi.”

She sticks out her bottom lip and pouts. “What’s wrong miss grumpy pants?”

Yep, she’s irritating too. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Haley, I’m fine.”

“Skylar, I have been your roommate for half a year now and I am pretty sure I know when something is wrong with you.”

Shaking my head, I say, “It’s nothing, I just have to go see Dr. S.” My voice mocks his name.

“Oh. I understand why you’re cranky now.”

“Yup.” I pull out my cell phone and check the time. “Speak of the devil, I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now.”

“Bye,” she yells after me as I rush out the door. 

Crud. I forgot that my appointment was early today. My feet move quickly, it only take about five minutes to get to the offices where the counselor resides. I have to run up the stairs just to make it into his waiting room with a minute to spare. Just as I sit down, he pokes his head out the door and calls me in. 

“So how are you today?” He asks as I take my usual spot in the center of the couch. 

Before I can stop myself, I blab, “I went home.”

His eyebrows raise with surprise and anticipation. “Tell me about it.”

“I went to the grave, talked to the air, and came back home.”

He writes something down on his clipboard. “That’s it?”

“Yep.”

“Skylar, how did it make you feel when you talked to your grandmother?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I thought I was better, but nothings better.”

“Everything will get better, you just have to learn to accept what you can’t control. Just give it time.”

In an unintended dramatic voice, I ask, “What if I don’t want to give it time?”

He taps his pen on the edge of the wooden clipboard. It takes him a moment to figure out how to answer my question, despite it being rhetorical. “If you don’t want to wait, you’ll probably cause yourself some sort of harm. Self-destruction basically.”