The End of it All

Chapter 1

Hello- Ivy

The first day back. I'm ready for the torture to begin. I just hope ,this year, it kills me. No one would miss me if it did so why should I care.

I'm now seventeen and all I've ever known is numbing pain, day after day. I've been bullied from the the beginning of first grade till now. Fifth grade was the year that everything changed. From then on it became physical abuse along with verbal.

All I want to know is, why me? Why do I have to be the one being bullied? Why must it follow me and never end? I don't want this. It's followed me for so long. I just want to get rid of it. I don't like living like this. I don't want to live like this anymore.

The only person who has stood by me since eighth grade is my crush Nate.

I have more then just scars on my heart which compliment all of the bruises I have. The bruises fade after some time but the scars never will. Other than Nate, my best friend is my razor.

He has tried to stop me but it's not easy to just quit. It's an addiction. Smokers don't just wake up one day and say "I'm not gonna smoke ever again starting now." I can't just stop either.

The thing about scars is that they aren't the easiest thing to hide. I'll blame it on my cat, I don't have a cat. I'll also blame it on being a very clumsy person. Not everyone falls for it.

Nate asks me why I lie to other people. "Do you do it because you're ashamed of what you're doing to your body?" I've never told him why. I do it so that I can lie to myself. So I can be a different person for at least a minute or two. I feel like pretending to be someone else is way better then confessing to people about the life you are actually living.

Now that I think about it. If I were to die no one would care or even miss me. That's what I'll do. I'll kill myself.