Twin's downfall

~ 14 ~

Without another thought Chanyeol dragged me away, a tight grasp on my wrist. Yet the pain of it didn't bother me at all. I could tell he was angry but, I'm wearing a smile to hide my tears. I hate hurting Chanyeol but, I don't know anything else, I don't know how to love the right way.

He dragged me through an empty park, a shortcut to the mansion. 

"Chan-"

"Shut up! You piece of shit, I don't want to even hear you breath!" Chanyeol scowled at me.

I'm just surprised he didn't call me a mistake because I'm sure he's thinking it. Honestly, I feel so dead. I'm disgusting. I'm a disgrace. I'm a waste of space. I'm an honest mistake and I'm sorry for being born. I should just disappear.

"Chanhyun stop having suicidal thoughts. I don't want you to die, I just want the truth. Tell me whose them, tell me who threatened you. I just want to protect you"

I stopped walking. I stood there starring at the ground. I'm scared, I can't tell him about them. What if they do come back? What if they hurt me for telling him the truth?

"I'm too scared to... What if they somehow find out and hurt me? Will you even want to protect someone as disgusting as me?"

"Your not disgusting"

"But, I'm a disgrace, right?"

"You are a disgrace and that's a damn fact but, it doesn't mean I won't protect you. I was just angry at you" Chanyeol explained.

"Just tell me more sweet lies, when I already know what kind of mess I am. You protect" I turned away with a huge grin that had surfaced onto my sinful lips.

"Chanhyun! What's actually wrong with you? Why are you like this!?"

"...Chanhyun, is a dick sucking bitch. He'd bend over for any guy. He's a filthy slut constantly being fxcked by horny guys. Chanhyun was kidnapped by a local gang that had heard of his looks and wealth. That week he was kidnapped, knocked out cold and raped. He woke up tied to a bed in a kinky outfit, the leader beside him was painfully caressing his bare member, carefully watching the owner's reactions..."

"Chanhyun... You don't have-"

"No Chanyeol, you want to know what's wrong with me I'll tell you, I'll tell you what's wrong"

"Chan-" Chanyeol was cut off again.

"That night he was violated like never before, they were so rough with him, he took it all and did as he was told. He didn't want to risk angering the person in control, his job was to please him only and not to fight back at all. When Jaehyun was done, they cleaned him up and clothed him. He was dressed well and they treated well too, according to their standards"

"Jaehyun did this to you? The Jaehyun, the city renown gang leader of the roughest douc-bags known? T-that Jaehyun?" Chanyeol stuttered.

"Yes Chanyeol, that Jaehyun claimed your brother as his own property" I stiffened from the flash backs.

"A few days pasted and the leader, Jaehyun claimed me as his. I was not to be touched by anyone else but him and was okay with that. We did it often but he was always gentle with me. Eventually he wanted to know more about me since he planned to keep me for a while and I answered most of his questions as I told him about myself. After learning what I'd dealt with he became nicer to me, he began to take care of me more and we did it less. Jaehyun also began taking me out and I soon returned home with his permission of course. He released me but, said I will always be his and was always welcome back anytime. I somehow became family to him and most of all. I was seen as something precious in his eyes.

"However, when he found out I had begun dating his current victim he was angry at me. He didn't think Sehun was good enough for me but, eventually excepted it after fighting about it every time we met, face to face. He told me if I were to date him, I should at least be dominant or he'd punish me for being weak... Yeah, eventually as you probably already know I raped Sehun. I was put under so much pressure, I forced him to become mine and only mine. I can never forget how much pain I inflicted onto him, how much he screamed through the entire process. It torments me in my sleep so, I can't even imagine how Sehun got over it. He forgave me, Jaehyun praised me but, I... I-I never forgave me.

"Chanyeol, I've never forgave me. I can never love me and I'm even more confused on how people can love me. How can you love someone so disgusting? Why bother with dirt? That's what I am hyung! I'm dirt, hyung! Stop playing with dirt! It will end up dirtying your hands too!" I slightly yelled at him as heavy tears escaped my eyes and his.

He stepped back in shock as he stared at me. He expression of pure confusion.

"Ch-Chan--- Chanhyun... Chanhyun that's not true! Chanhyun, tell me that was all a lie!! TELL ME THAT WAS ALL JUST A SICK LIE! CHANHYUN!" He screamed.

"I've done enough lying, hyung it hurts lying to you. It hurts a lot"

"Why? How? How did this happen?!"

"Abuse has it's side affects on the victim, in some cases can leave the victim severely damaged, their brain can be inflicted with an intense trauma that is hard to overcome. Now, you know what I have. You know the truth, what will you do?"

"I want to know the whole truth! I know for a fact this isn't all the truth! Chanhyun..." He yelled in a shaky voice.

"Hyung, you can't take all the truth"

I gave him a sad smile as I walked past him. He grabbed my hand and with that movement I could feel him shivering. Not from the cold but, from the overwhelming truth I had given him.

"Chanhyun...! I will help you! I PROMISE I WILL CURE YOUR TRAUMAS AND BRING HAPPINESS BACK INTO YOUR LIFE!" He turned around, "I promise you'll truly smile one day with your heart!"

"Then I'll be waiting till that promise becomes a reality"

I turned back as a tear slid down my cheek. I left Chanyeol in our childhood park alone, crying. Crying heavily to himself as I made my way home.

End of Chanhyun's pov