Catching Chase (ON PAUSE)

Entry Ten

Dear Child,

I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to put on a happy face as I would be forced to eat in the cafeteria at breakfast with everyone and James Hughes. But there he was, my nightmare, standing proud and tall showing off his biceps to the geeky girls who couldn’t care less about anything but calculators and the sum equation of pie. Speaking of which, a slice of apple pie was waiting for me at the end of the food line, oh gosh things were looking up! But that was beside the point.

Gosh he was ridiculous- but somewhat, irresistibly dreamy. But I was a foolish girl…too foolish in fact to see what I was getting myself into.

After wiping her black hair leaked with grease onto her uniform the kitchen cook proceeded to plunk the same dish of mash potato and yesterday’s leftovers vegies onto my empty plate. I wasn’t hungry for savory food. Not one bit. My sweet tooth, on the other hand, always need replenishing…. especially when I get upset. But if the boarding mistresses caught you throwing away food then it was considered an indecent crime. What were they turning into? Dury duty?

I caught myself turning my head again to stare at my newly formed enemy. Ebony stop, it’s all in your mind. Engulfed in a daze that was seemingly captivated by the very presence of James (whom now stood 5 people behind me in the line) I had missed the question of whether I wanted salt or pepper….

That was the only option that we got to choose in this cafeteria. Much like at home when I use to pass the pepper it to dad, our only form of conversation at dinnertime.

“Ebony, I said, SALT OR PEPPER?” The bellowing rudeness of the lunch lady disrupted my foggy head and also made me the focus of attention throughout the entire cafeteria.

In a fury of embarrassment I mumbled a quick “No thank-you” as I rushed to the nearest seat next to Felicity Houston. I wasn’t a particularly friend of Felicity’s, but my flushed red face had suggested that I swiftly move out of the line before further cafeteria humiliation.

I forgot to mention. The daze. I often get lost somewhere in my brain. I’m still trying to work out which place I go to. I’d like to think it’s a happy place but by the snap of a finger it’s gone and my memory isn’t that good. I often imagine different scenarios of what might happen if, perhaps, zombies were to attack my house where would I run. Or, if my house caught on fire which escape route would I take. That’s why when I first laid eyes on James Hughes I knew he was trouble. Trouble doesn’t go unwatched. That’s why from the start I wanted to take the safest option with him. I didn’t want to get hurt, I’d seen heartbreak happen all the time in the movies. I’d seen it in my parents relationship as well. So I tried to keep my distance with James but my heart still got broken. How come a girls heart is always the one which gets torn in any love scenario…and to make matters worst it happens in three stages.

1.    Girl falls for boy

2.    Boy breaks girls heart and expects her to pick up the pieces

3.    So she does in order to fix her damn self.  

 Love Ebony May xoxo