Monty After Dark

Chapter 16

In the morning, dad was gone, I went home to get ready for school and left him a note saying the football tickets were at the will call at the stadium, and that I'd see him at the game.

"So pumped for this game tomorrow night, we're going to kill these guys," Chris was saying at lunch. "You better get a good night sleep, man, we need these two points."

"Yeah, definitely," I said. I was looking forward to hockey this weekend for the first time in a while. Chan and I were finally in a really good spot and it was like I had my mojo back. Maybe I'd even get a couple points in. I was still rattled about my dad, but parenting my father was nothing new.

I took the skytrain down to the stadium, which was large, looming and buzzed with excitement. It was a cold fall night, and the season was winding down. I had never really been a big football fan, and we didn't have a team at school, so I had never had the opportunity to play, but Carts seemed like a good dude, and at least if we're at the game, I don't have to have a real conversation with my dad, we can just talk about the action on the field. I had also brought my camera and zoom lens to take some photos.

Well, we could have ... if he had bothered to show up. I wanted to be shocked, or even surprised that he didn't show up. But I wasn't. At all.

After the game, I went down to the dressing room and asked the equipment manager if he could get Carts for me. When he came out of the room, I noticed him looking around. "Where's your old man at?" he asked. I hadn't really thought of an excuse for him.

"He's working a really important case, and needed to work a double. You know, serve and protect and all that," I rambled.

"Look man, I think you're a good kid," Carts said. I wasn't sure where he was going with this. "But I worry about you. I grew up with no dad, but you got no mom AND no dad, who the hell is lookin' out for you?" I felt awkward.

"Me, I guess. And Chan, she takes good care of me," I said. I suddenly felt proud of her.

"You're going to end up in a bad spot if you don't watch out. I don't want to see that happen to you. You ever tried to talk to anybody about all this?"

"No, I mean, we have a guidance counsellor at school, but I'm a varsity athlete, I can't just go in there and start talking about my life problems."

"Hang on a minute, don't go anywhere, I'm gonna be right back," Carts said, disappearing back into the dressing room.

I felt awkward, standing around outside the dressing room by myself with players, coaches, reporters and personnel mulling around. I felt like everyone was looking at me.

"Matt," said Carts, returning with a young-ish blonde guy in a Lions golf shirt. "This is Shel, he's a sports psychologist and works with the team here. I asked him if maybe he could make time to sit down and have a chat with you." I wasn't sure what to say. Was I that messed up? I need a shrink? Carts barely knows me, and he thinks I'm nuts enough to need a shrink?

"Oh," I said in surprise. "I don't know what to say."

"I know, you feel like, what, am I nuts or something," Shel said. "From what Carts is telling me, it sounds like you could just use someone to talk to."

"I guess I could," I said, mumbling my words. I felt weird. Why are all these people trying to be nice to me? I'm pretty self-sufficient, I don't like taking things from people.

"And maybe we can hang out a little more once the season is over next month," Carts said. "You like to work out, right? You could come check out the Lions' gym and maybe we could train a bit?"

"Okay ..." I said. This all seemed too good to be true, but I wanted to believe Carts and the therapist. I guess it couldn't hurt to try.

"I'm going to go get dressed, and then I'll give you a lift home," Carts said.

I settled down in a folding chair and looked at my phone. I had wanted to change the background to the selfie Chan and I had taken, but I was too afraid one of the guys would notice and chirp me for it. That, and I wasn't entirely sure we were legally allowed to be sleeping together, and I didn't want her to get into trouble. As far as I knew, the age of consent is 16, but I know if it were someone like a teacher or a coach, the older person would be in shit for it. I didn't want to take that chance and get Chan busted.

But I loved being with her. It was a strange feeling, actually yearning to be around someone. I pictured her in the kitchen, laughing while she sipped her coffee in the morning, with her hair all messy, chubby muffin top over her pyjama pants while she made breakfast. My throat got caught for a second. Jesus. My fantasies now included breakfast?

And then, she text me. My heart pounded in my chest.

"How was the game? I see the boys won."

"It was fine, just down at the room now with Carts. My dad didn't show."

"He came home earlier, left again a few minutes later, but I'm at work now, so I haven't seen him."

"It's okay." I debated what to say next. "Carts is bringing me home soon, you going to be back?"

"Not til late, sorry," she said. "Can come by later if you want."
Immediately my head filled with thoughts of her naked body in her bed beside me, but there was a tenderness I felt, which was a long way from just wanting to bang the shit out of her.

Carts wheeled out of the room and we walked to the players' parking area. He had a fancy looking truck. "It's not mine, I took it home for the weekend off the lot," he said. Playing CFL wasn't the world's most lucrative job, but Carts explained he had another job selling cars in the off-season, so he did reasonably well for himself. "People want to come buy a car from the football player. It's silly, really, but I like talking to people, and make a few extra bucks here and there."

On the way home, I worked up the nerve to ask what I had really been dying to know. "Carts, why are you so nice?"

He laughed. "Oh, I'm not that nice, didn't you see me take that guy down tonight on the field?"

I laughed. It's weird, being crazy aggressive during a game and then turning around and being normal afterwards. Some guys I played hockey and lacrosse with had a hard time with the transition. A lot of those guys were also drunks.

"Nah, really, though, I didn't have it easy growing up. I grew up in the US, but then my mom sent me to live here in Van with my pops, it was really hard on me. I'm mixed race, and I had an accent when I moved here, so kids weren't that nice to me, but you learn to make the best of it, and I started doing really well in sports, and I was able to overcome all that stuff. Now, I try to look out for other people who might need it." I admired that Carts was trying to find people who were like him and helping them.

Carts dropped me off at home, and dad wasn't there, so I deked inside. I agonized over whether I should pack a bag before going over to Chan's. She wasn't home yet. I had no idea where my dad was, but I didn't want to be here when he got home, so I grabbed some shit and my bike and went to Tim's to grab a coffee while I waited to find out what time Chan would be back. This nervous, anxious feeling was totally foreign to me. I wasn't used to getting all bent over a broad, but the anticipation building in me was almost more than I could take.

I replayed our last encounter over in my mind for the millionth time, savouring each moment of the memory. It felt weird, living some kind of double life that I couldn't tell anybody about. It was weird not being able to tell Sean and Chris about it like I did all the rest of my sexual conquests.