My parents haven't even noticed how anti-social I've become because of him...the older I get the more I like him and the more his words, all the words he said to me get stuck in my head. The words he spoke are the words I think about each and everyday I wake up and all those days I just feel like curling up in a ball and slowly dieing, I feel as if me cutting off my foot would feel better than the pain that lives in my head...each and everyday I wake up thinking if only I never met him, if only he was still that sweet guy that I met when I was 6, if only I could get over him,if only I was dead, it would all be better than it is now. But than again I am apart of that small percentage of the world that believes that everything happens for a reason. So maybe everything that comes at me happens for a reason, but I also believe that everything is my fault everything that happens is my fault, I don't know if I can face him this summer...i don't even want to live anymore...i just want to die at least that would be easier than living with all the pain and having thoughts,bad thoughts everyday...if only my parents knew that I need help,but it's not like i can just walk up to them and say I need help and I know I need help...i wish it was that easy but everytime I walk up too my parents looking even a little sad and they notice and ask me what's wrong I say I'm fine because I am afraid to share my feelings with them and everyone because I feel as if no body will understand and everybody will judge me...
