When You're Bored In Spanish

Just Spanish Thoughts

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It was a dark and stormy night, and I think I saw Barney's cold green eyes staring at me through the fog.. slowly, I started to see his purple suit as the fog started to fade away, in a kingdom far, far away.
A kingdom that housed all sorts of creatures like Barney. Creatures like teletubies.
The kids hallucinated the purple dinasour, they performed ritualistic dances and songs.
Don't do drugs kids!
The kids imagined all sorts of crazy creatures, if they believed that Barney the purple dinasour was staring at them through the fog, what couldn't they hallucinate?
They started a cult. They named it PBS Kids.
PBS Kids decided they wanted their hallucinations to come to life so other children around the world could expiercence this magical kingdom like them.
They didn't want anyone to miss out.
It wasn't just a program. It was a religious expiercence.
The children who were able to experience the holy joys of PBS Kids were almost hypnotized by the purple dinasour they enjoyed watching so much everyday.
They couldn't watch the purple dinasour without viewers like you. Thank you.
Other creatures included the Octupus named Henry from the Wiggles.
Other popular cults included Disney, which is where Kim Possible lived, and Nickelodeon, where Spongebob and his mentally compromised Starfish best friend lurked around.
One of the kids favorites was the greedy crab who just liked money, because everyone can relate to that, right?
A sub-cult of the Spongebob cult included the cult of Spnongebob memes. It raised questions of great intellect such as, how can fish drown? Did Mr. Krabs fight in Vietnam? Is squidward smarter because he is a cephalopod (They have big brains). Although I forgot how Squidward and Squilliam are related- Squidward has a nice house, right? Especially for a guy who lives alone. He has 3 stories, and an art studio, a grand piano, and he affords all of this by working as a cashier for Krusty Krab?! Doesn't add up.
Obviously, he plays the clarinet too, but he wouldn't make much money out of that because he sucks.
The most probable explanation for the origins of his money, is his drug dealing business.
Why does Spongebob always look so hyped up and Patrick so stoned, plus, they live right next to Squidward. Coincidence, I think not.
Yes, Spongebob is obviously a coke-whore. He does a line of coke every morning when he wakes up.
The question is, according to biology, snails are mollusks and sponges are poriferans. Poriferans are the least advanced so shouldn't Spongebob be Gary's pet?