Short Stories & Compositions

I'm Bi?

You were 11 when it hit you.

Like smacking into a brick wall. Like diving into an ice cold pool. Like suddenly having a tie to all your loose ends. Like the missing piece of the puzzle had just been hidden under the couch, and you hadn't looked hard enough.

Your mom is a teacher, and you're about to go on a field trip with her class. This has you really excited because you get to visit your hometown for a day, and because you get to be around really cool high school kids. It's dark out as you drive across town to your mother's school. And it's still dark when you board a dimly-lit, crowded bus full of sleepy teenagers. You're ushered into the first seat on the left and that's when you see her. Her. She who is sitting in seat two on the right. Who makes your breath catch in your throat. You don't understand what's happening. Or what this reaction means. You've never felt this before. For anyone. And you're scared.

Your heart races. She's asleep now. Most people on the bus are. Except you. You're wide awake. You keep looking back at her. Staring. She's beautiful even in her sleep. You don't think you've ever found a girl this attractive. You recognize her as your mom's foreign exchange student from Finland. You desperately want to talk to her. But you're scared she'd think that you're gross. An annoying, little more-than-5th-but-not-quite-6th-grader.

Your mind tries to rack up all the possible reasons for why you might be feeling this way. Maybe you just want to be friends with her. Like really badly. Maybe there's just something about her. Clearly you're straight and this one girl is just the exception. But are you so sure? You're not feeling so confident about that now. You sweat bullets as you come to the realization. You think that, maybe, possibly, you might be bi? Bi. B-I-Sexual. You feel slightly relieved. A tiny piece of yourself uncovered. But things aren't quite right yet.