So I may or may not have depression. I don't really do anything to help it. Around my friends when I can leave for a while or I can read it really helps because I don't wanna drag my friends to the bottom of the tree beneath the tree house with no latter. Everyone else is up there.
If you don't know what I mean basically it's like trying to get into a tree house with all your friends and family where the happiness lay, but there isn't a latter and no one notices you're gone because you pretend you're in the little tree house with them, but really the loneliness is killing you and the demons tell you to run.
If you know that feeling then I am truly sorry. It is the worst.
Basically imagine your heart is on the outside of your body and someone is dragging you away using your heart strings like a rope pulling away a tree or sled. You look in the window of the tree house. Everyone is having a good time. They don't notice you're gone because in that room is a whole other person entirely. They look just like you. Know everything that you know. See what you have seen. Your clone notices you're gone and has to try to keep it together. Put up a door with the strongest bonds that become impenitrable.
They can't see past the door and know what you are thinking meanwhile you're laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.
You just don't want to drag them into it.
So this is how I deal with depression.
1. Cry myself to sleep
2. Wake up
3. Get dressed
4. Practice smiling so it's not that hard
5. Act like everything is fine
6. Go to school
7. Act like I'm not dying
8. Play it perfect with the script
9. Go to the bathroom and cry
10. Act like nothing happened
11. Go back to class
12. Smile and laugh like I'm ok
13. Crack a joke or two
14. Go home
15. Pretend I had a great day
16. Go in my room
17. Lock myself away so no one has to know
So yeah....that happened
