Happier

10

Rye-

Andy fell asleep within a few minutes. I stayed awake, taking in every single detail. The way the corners of his eyes wrinkled up and his mouth curled up as he smirked from a dream only he could know. How his dimples were so deep and his lips parted. Soft snores could be heard as he cuddled up even closer to me. I wrapped my arm even tighter around him and put my other hand in his soft hair, running my fingers through it.

"I love you baby, so much." I whispered even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

I cuddled closer to him and closed my eyes, falling asleep with the boy I would've never imagined would finally be mine.

-

I woke up to the buzz of my phone. I pulled it out to see a text message from Blair in our group chat.

Blair- Studio to record more covers today. It's gonna be a long day so be prepared.

I saw Brook and Jack reply so I locked my phone and then turned to Andy, but he wasn't there. I began to panic a bit as I sat up and looked around for him. He wasn't there. I looked over at Mikey's bunk and saw him on his phone. Jack was on the couch.

"Where's Andy?" I asked them. Jack shrugged and rubbed his eyes but Mikey looked up from his phone.

"He's in the shower." He informed me. I sighed and relaxed a bit. I fell back down onto the bed.

I waited a few minutes as Mikey and Jack started a conversation but decided it was time to go get ready. I walked to my room that I share with Harvey and grabbed some black skinny jeans and a jumper. I took a quick shower and changed my clothes, walking back into my room. I found Andy sitting on my bed, scrolling though his phone. He was in my hoodie again.

"Morning baby." I said softly as I walked over to him and grabbed his hands, pulling him up so he was standing in front of me. He burried his head into my neck but didn't say anything. "Baby, what's wrong?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders and then let go of me, walking out of the room.

That was odd. I ran to catch up with him as he exited the flat. I grabbed his hand and made him look at me.

"Andy what's wrong?" I asked again as I looked into his eyes. He sighed and seemed to relax a bit.

"I don't know, I really just don't know. I was feeling anxious for some reason but I guess I'm ok now." He said as he looked down. I nodded my head slightly.

"Just tell me next time and I'll help you. I love you. Now come on, the boys have already gone to the studio and we need to hurry up and get there." I said as I pulled him in for another hug and then led him out to my car.

-

Andy-

We walked into the studio and were met by Brook and Jack who were just as crazy as always. I had fallen asleep in the car with everything that was on my mind and when we had pulled up to the studio, Rye had parked the car and then tried to carry me into the building. I didn't let him. I let my insecurities get in the way. I told myself I was too heavy for him to be carrying, that he'd break his back because everyone says that I'm fat so I must be fat, right?

Mikey was recording his bit. I sat down in the chair and started to think about the notes I was gonna have to hit for this cover. I couldn't do it. I suck at singing and now their making me go super high? I tried not to think about anything as Mikey came out and I was told it was my turn.

I stood up and wobbled a bit. I was a bit dizzy but I kept walking, not letting any of the boys, especially Rye, see. I closed the door to the booth and put the headphones over my ears. The only thing I could hear was a high pitched ringing. That's not supposed to be the music, right? I ignored it as the actual music came through the headphones and when it was on cue, I sang my part, well, I tried.

I knew that my voice had gone out and I was so dizzy that I had to lean against the wall. My vision was blurry and I couldn't tell if it was from tears or if something was wrong with me. My breathing was becoming slower. I heard the door open as I slid down the wall, hugging my knees tighter to my chest and crying, the feeling of hot tears on my cheeks, a now familiar sensation, one I wish I wasn't so familiar with.

~