Into the Flames

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I wake up on the couch alone to an eerily silent condo. I am disoriented as I sit up, realizing that I'm on the couch instead of my bed, and there is sunlight streaming through the living room windows. "What time is it?" I ask myself as I rub the sleep out of my eyes.

I stand and groggily stumble to the kitchen where the stove tells me that it is ten in the morning. "Shit!" I yell, startled by the realization that I have slept in.

No wonder the condo was so quiet, the boys are probably all at work by now. I feel a pang of regret as I realize I didn't even get to send them off, but I am touched that they had let me sleep. I have to admit that it is lonely, waking up alone. I have grown so used to waking up to the smell of Jin's cooking, and now waking up without the reassurance of someone else around leaves me feeling oddly disconcerted.

After a rather disappointing breakfast of cereal and scrambled eggs, I set about my daily tasks with considerably less zeal than normal. It isn't until around noon that I perk up. I am folding the boy's clothes when I realize that I am zoning out, daydreaming about last night's events. Yoongi is so adorable sometimes, and my heart literally can't take it if it's telltale thumping is any evidence. It won't leave my mind, the way he held me so closely, as if afraid that I would vanish the moment he let go. He treats me as if I am precious to him, and it is such a novel idea to me. The idea of being wanted, needed, is one that both appeals to me and frightens me all the same.

I have just put away the last of the laundry and am exiting Taehyung's bedroom when I hear the sound of the front door being opened. Curious as to who it could be at this hour, when all the boys are to be at work, I set the hamper back into its place and scurry into the living room. Surprisingly it is Jimin, and he is seated on the couch pushing his hair back dejectedly, posture slouched and defeated.

I walk to the couch and sit beside him. As I wait for him to acknowledge my presence, I take in his demeanor. I can tell that he has had a rough day, and my heart bleeds for him. I have grown to love the smiles of all the boys, and the fact that Jimin's is missing simply won't do. He gives me a half-hearted smile as he looks to me, not truly acknowledging me, but it is good enough.

"Jimin, what's wrong? You look so sad." My voice is gentle, an effort on my part to be comforting.

The man before me is quiet, and I can tell that he is searching for the words to say, to put his pain into speech. It seems that words fail him, so instead, he simply shrugs. My heart breaks into even tinier pieces at his nondescript answer. He sees my sadness and sighs.

"I'm just struggling with the new choreography, that's all."

The look on his face tells me that there is more, so I wait patiently for him to continue. "Kookie and Hobi-hyung got it down so effortlessly and I keep making mistakes. It's frustrating. I feel like..." He stops, hesitant to voice the next words, "I feel like I'm not good enough."

There is not a moment of hesitation as I pull the pink-haired idol into a tight hug. "Oh Jimin, you are perfect and amazing just the way you are." I smile tenderly at him as I release him, leaning back to look him in the eyes.

"I really admire your hard work, and you are so talented, honestly I'm a bit envious. I wish I could dance like you. But the truth is that it doesn't matter if it takes you longer to learn the choreography. What matters is that you do, that you will, because you are so talented and dedicated. And when you do you will make it look amazing and effortless too. I'm sure that even Hobi probably struggled to learn it, but it looks different to you because you are so harsh to yourself that you cannot let yourself believe that you are not the only one who has to work so hard." I smile because his smile is returning and his crescent eyes twinkle with excitement.