(18+) Someone in the dark

Ch. 14: Cut down to die

Carl's words ricocheted like a bullet inside my head. It was like my skull was made of tin and now the sound was about to make me go deaf from the sharp thumps. I barely noticed what my hands were doing, preparing dinner for my boss. Fried chicken on a bed of sliced vegetables and rice was nice and delicate in theory. In reality...? I didn't even know what to call it. So I added two flowers instead of one, one purple and one yellow, and hoped it would make it better. Those, and the cookies that just came fresh out of the oven and were cooling on the counter, would do the trick.

I cleaned up right after making dinner and scraped the leftovers into Jack's bowl before I went upstairs with the food. Because tonight, instead of going back down to eat, I was planning on going straight to bed. I couldn't stand the thought of eating, anyway. Not after the things Carl told me. But deep down, I knew sleep was probably too much to ask for.

I felt drained to the bone when I put the tray down on the table in the hall and shook the bell. Then I turned around to go to my room, and it was like someone punched the breath out of me. I groaned out loud and sunk down on my knees in the middle of the hallway, because right there, in front of my blue door, was the little frame. That fucking picture of the girl and her dog, and I could see terror written all over their faces. No smiles. Not even serious faces. Pure terror!

My face contorted into a grin of pain, and tears broke their way through my eyes, streaming down my face. I fell over to my side, with my arms and feet curled up in front of me like a baby, and started sobbing. My voice sounded like it came from a wounded animal, and I couldn't control my body that trembled and twitched like it was dying. There was no word to describe the hollowness in my chest. Why couldn't they just kill me and get it over with?

"Careful what you wish for," Carl said that day. How ironic that I now felt a pair of hands grasping around on my body, pulling at me. They'd come for me. They really were going to kill me this time, and I drew a sigh of relief. It was over. But confusion poked on my weak brain when someone lifted me from the ground like a child and carefully carried me away, instead of being dragged down into something unknown. Something I knew was beyond horrible.

I wasn't able to open my eyes anymore. I barely had any will left to breathe, since a morbid anxiety had abducted my soul and taken my ability to function with it. All I could do was to make these gruesome sobbing noises, which scared me even more than I already was. And honestly, that shouldn't be possible.

The pair of arms carried me to somewhere that felt warm. For the first time since I came here, I actually felt safe and at peace, and I didn't understand why. Instead of the hard floor, they put me down on something soft that made me feel like I was floating on a cloud.

Maybe I was dead? Maybe I was in heaven now? But the familiar smell told me I was still breathing. Still able to inhale through my nose and fill my lungs with revitalizing air instead of the thick fog I'd been breathing the past few days. Then a door slammed shut, followed by the sound of glass that fell onto something hard and shattered into a thousand pieces. Just like me.

"I hate you!" I heard, together with silent cursing. I recognized that voice, but not the anger in his words.

"Why can't you take me instead?"

There was a dip in the mattress next to me and a soft hand caressed my cheek. Gentle fingers stroked along my jaw and a thumb brushed across my lips.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," I heard him say over and over. His breathing was strained, and it sounded like he was struggling to hold back tears. Then he got up and his warmth was replaced by a longing for something I so desperately needed.

The sound of three different locks shutting made me want to laugh. Like that was going to help... Whatever was trying to consume me couldn't be stopped by a door or a wall. I was already being eaten alive. So when he lied down next to me, I instantly panicked because I thought he was going to finish what the house had started. Or was it the girl in the attic or his grandfather in the portrait? I didn't know. But instead of hurting me, he pulled me into his arms and cradled me like a baby. Still, that wasn't what surprised me the most. It was his tears that fell on my temple when he kissed my hair. It was the soft touch and the way he invited me to snuggle closer to him. And shamelessly, I did.

"I'm sorry for invading your personal space, Ms. Thomas, but I have to, so it doesn't..."

He let the sentence hang unfinished because both of us knew what he meant. Still, the despair in his voice made me feel like I was melting, and the warmth of his body rubbed off on mine. I was the snow crystal; he was the sun, and his presence slowly chased the coldness away from my body. I was still sobbing but quieter, and I was still shaking, but not as hard. And Mr. Jackson kept hugging me tight, like I was the only person left in the world.

"There's one thing I have to do. I promise it will help you. Or... At least I think it will."

I moaned silently to give him permission, still not able to pronounce any words. I didn't really care what he was trying to do. All I wanted was to be wrapped in his arms for the rest of my life, perhaps even die there. I just wanted the stabbing pain in my chest to go away.

"It's going way faster than expected, and I think it's my fault. It usually takes a month or two. Maybe even three or four. Not two weeks."

I felt him clench his jaw against my forehead, and he was holding his breath to hold back his emotions. But his bitterness still seeped through.

"There's only one thing I can do to make you colorful again, and I apologize in advance for what I'm about to do."

I wanted to tell him to stop postponing and take action, but all I could do was to listen to his voice while he talked.

"You are too beautiful. I noticed the moment you arrived. You aren't like the other women who have come here. You have a pure soul and a strong spirit. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who noticed that."

He kissed my hair again and hugged me tighter before he retracted to look at me, and it took all my willpower to open my eyes so I could meet his gaze. But when I did, it was like a waterfall showered me with love and energy.

"Do you trust me?" he asked and gave me the faintest smile that grew bigger when I managed to nod. Then he leaned in...

... and kissed me.