falling for him // ziall

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Zayn’s POV

I was lying in bed my hands folded carefully on my abdomen and I was staring silently at the ceiling waiting for Niall. He told me he had to go somewhere after we shared our beautiful, magical, kiss. I stupidly let him go, but now I was awfully missing him. My heart was aching. I wanted to see his beautiful pale face with his slightly tinted cheeks, and his flawless features, he was just so beautiful…

I didn’t realize I went into deep thought about him until I heard the door open quietly. I sat up and saw a shy Niall looking everywhere around besides me.

I got up and sprinted to him and put my hands in his shoulders, “Niall, mate, you alright?”

“Yeah,” He said sounding as if he was in deep thought.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked out loud.

“Um…” Niall hesitated and shuffled his weight from foot to foot looking at my side instead of my eyes, “Um…”

“Oh… Um… You’re feeling weird out…?” I put my hands back to my sides and rubbed the back of my neck looking around.

“No, nonono! It’s not that!” He grabbed my wrists and looked into my eyes. “It’s…It’s just…you know….um…”

I looked down at his hands on my wrists and smiled, I looked back up at him and tried to calm him down, “Hey, breathe… It’s alright… You don’t have to tell me,”

Niall scoffed, “Of course I have to tell you!”

“Okay, okay, well take your time,” I pulled him to his bed and we sat facing each other, our hands linked as one.

Niall gripped my hands tightly and smiled weakly, “Okay, well,” he mumbled nervously, it looked like he was taking a lot of courage to get this off his chest…

I wonder what he’s going to tell me. I hope he doesn’t tell me he’s going to move out rooms, because I’ll place wood on it and hammer everything on it, I will never let him go. I will apologize for everything. Even things I didn’t do. I will take the blame for everything. But, if he leaves I truly don’t know what I would do. I took a deep breath and tried to drown all those awful scenarios.

“You know how you told me you thought you were falling for me?” Niall looked into my eyes, I could sense worry in them.

Was he worried that I was going to deny it? I wouldn’t deny that. I would never deny how I’m feeling at the moment, because it’s such a great feeling. I mean it’s slightly bittersweet since I feel scared that I may be gay, but to be honest I’m not keen of any other boys, it seems to only be Niall. I mean I look at other boys but I only think of them as…boys. Not as ‘what if I were to date them?’ or ‘wow, he’s got gorgeous eyes!’ I just think ‘hey, man, nice shoes!’ I think of them as brothers, but Niall… I now think of him as a soul mate, a love mate. Someone I would really like to get to know more, to take out on cute, romantic, dates, to cuddle with… I don’t know, but the bittersweet feeling is tiny! The great feeling definitely takes over! I loved this feeling I got of fancying him. It felt so…I don’t know it’s an unexplainable feeling! It gives you tingles just to think about him. It makes you blush and feel embarrassed when someone says their name… I think these are the feelings of liking someone, falling for someone, loving someone, and I finally get to feel them. I never felt these with Nina. But, I do with Niall, and maybe this is a sign. Or maybe it’s just stupid and it’s just my hopeless romantic side of my mind making these things up…

I looked sternly into Niall piercing blue eyes, “Yes. Yes I remember.”

Niall’s features relaxed, but then tensed again, “Well…um…” Niall swallowed and looked down at our intertwined hands; he bit his lip and looked into my eyes.