Unbound (Unbound, Book 1) ~Formerly Casting Power~

Chapter 29

Every inch of my body felt numb.

I sat in the plush armchair within Nancy's family's living room and stared at the walls, taking no notice of the people gathered. It had been two days since I had been forced to look at and identify my mother's lifeless form lying in the city morgue. Zachariah, who lay on the slab to her right, was just as dead, and just as cold.

To swear that I could handle it didn't make it so and, despite having said that I wanted to remain strong, I crumbled without shame. Aiden had to ask the medical examiner to leave the room to give me a few moments, and I don't recall how we'd made our way back to the Aldenburg's. Once I realized that I was faced with having to live a life lacking my mother's presence, I held her soulless body to me and refused to let go. I'd cried my throat raw, and after two days of near silence, it was still throbbing from the screams that had ripped through me in the morgue.

Since then, I'd only spoken when I'd been spoken to. I was thankful that our small family had such close and supportive friends. They had almost everything arranged for my mother's funeral and the ritual for the dead we'd hold tonight. I chose to have my mother cremated, remembering her once saying that was what she would prefer. Rather than resting in a grave six feet under, being food for the worms while rotting into nothing but bones, my mother had said that she wanted her ashes scattered so that she could become a part of nature.

It was a nice sentiment, almost like nature would continue to allow me the luxury of feeling my mother's presence wherever I went. Every time that I felt the breeze upon my skin, the earth beneath my toes, marveled at the flow of a natural body of water, or just took in the visual beauty of nature's creations, I would feel my mother with me.

"Hey, Nora. Nancy and I were heading up to get dressed. Would you like to come?" Aubrey-Lynn asked, appearing at my side, immaculate but tired. "The memorial service is in an hour."

Without a word, I allowed her to guide me up the stairs and into the master bedroom. The other rooms were being used for out of town guests. As far as I was concerned, we could go in our pajamas for all the difference it would make—it's not like my mother would care. When was the last time she had seen me dressed up? At least, if we all showed up in everyday wear, it wouldn't be a lie. How can you mourn someone when you are pretending to be someone else? Was it respectful to wear your Sunday best to a funeral? How did it show the person you loved you cared? If it was my funeral and I was the one watching from above, I would want to see the people I loved as I had known them to be.

It didn't matter what I thought. Preparing for the church, I allowed Nancy and Aubrey-Lynn to do as they pleased with my hair and make-up and wore what they handed me to wear. My reflection stared back at me, pale and withdrawn from life, emotionless. No amount of spackle would fix that.

"Are we ready to go?" Nancy asked with a false lightness.

"Sure. It's not like they can begin without us," I said. "We have the ashes."

* * * * *

After the memorial was complete, all I wanted to do was leave and crawl into the nearest bed. I walked over to the rental car and jumped into the backseat, allowing all the well-wishers to greet Nancy and Aubrey-Lynn to pay their respects. They were as much my mom's family as I was.

I leaned back and closed my eyes, concentrating only on my breathing.

Being present was draining. I wanted to relax enough so that I could replenish the energy the service had sapped from my body. Everyone had been so kind and had said wonderful things, but even hearing the good things was hard. Perhaps it was harder than hearing nothing at all, since hearing how wonderful she had been reminded me of how unpleasant life without her was going to be.