Honey, Art

Chapter Six

 "Deep breath. Deep breath."

The words were being repeated, over and over again. She had probably heard them a good thousand times by now but she didn't mind. She needed them. He was only trying to help. She was trying really hard to focus, but she couldn't take him seriously. This was a very compromising position and she knew that if anyone walked in, they'd be questioning not only what was going on but the friendship at hand. Which ultimately caused the girl just go all in on this one. She knew with the next couple songs, she had to put every kind of emotion she could muster up inside of herself. And when she began seeing again, his mouth fell to the floor.

Who are you in the dark? (I - I)
Show me the scary parts (I - I)

It was the end of the song and Camila knew she had to nail those two lines at the end because there was something she was trying to prove, not only to herself, but to a certain someone else. She had written this after the break up, wondering who Lauren had become because the Lauren she had been dating would've never ended their relationship the way that it did.

Camila would be lying if she said she wasn't scared to jump right into her next album. A lot of people do it, sure. But she was scared that rushing into making a new record would cause this next one to be shit compared to the last. But she also knew she had a loyal fan base and she was putting her heart and soul into this new record. She was still getting over her break up and this exact record was going to be her putting her feelings all in, head first. She wanted to tackle how she felt now instead of avoiding it.

She was scared at first to do it because her feelings for Lauren were such a big part of who she was, but she didn't want to hurt anymore. If Lauren was moving on, she should be doing the same by now. She knew that she had over reacted the morning she saw the blonde leaving her exes apartment, but Lauren wasn't hers to overreact over anymore. But the more that she thought about moving on, the more she thought about the things her and Charlie had started getting into. As much as she liked the thought of being with someone again, she knew she wasn't ready. And right now, she knew she had to get this conversation over with.

Taking her headphones off after finishing the ending of the song, Camila made her way out of the booth to the control room, where Charlie immediately started clapping as he leaned back into the chair. "Damn, girl... I knew you had it in you!"

Camila smiled bashfully, "Thanks." She huffed, taking a seat next to him. "God," holding her hand up to her throat. "I feel like I'm losing my voice after that."

They both laughed, him nodding along. "I wouldn't doubt it, you sang your heart out in there. Now, before you bring it up, I'll do it..." he paused, tilting his head as he looked at the woman next to him with a knowing face. "I know you aren't ready, Mila."

You know that meme of that white guy blinking? That was Camila right now. She hadn't expected this. Sure, she knew Charlie was a good guy, but she didn't expect him to know her so well that he'd just give into her not actually being ready. "You do?"

He nodded again, a small smile on his lips. "Look, I'm not mad, I get it actually. After Bella and I broke up, I kind of felt lonely all the time and sought out comfort or company or... something, whatever you want to call it, wherever I could find it. Now, I didn't go sleeping around, but I did hurt a few people because I wasn't honest about my intentions. So, I get it, but I still do want to work together."

"No doubt. "Camila was quick to tell him, not a beat later. "I think what we're creating right now is amazing, I just worry that I'll hurt you in the process and that's not something I want to do, you know?"

"I know." He said, appreciating her being honest. "Well, now that that's out of the way and we really don't need to talk about it any further... how about we talk about clubbing tonight? Are you game or no?"