SHIVIKA - Jealousy Or Insecure

Part 4

         Back with the next chappy... It will be full of Shivaay's feeling and his point of view from the day, he met till now...

        Shivaay with sleeping Anika drove the car towards the farmhouse to have sometime for themselves. He mentally prayed God that Anika should forgive him as he couldn't bare the ignorance or the silent treatment from her. He thought how Anika would have spend those two days by baring his ignorance. He always says her that he will not allow her to cry, but every time he fails by making her.

            He then talks to the sleeping Anika that," I'm sorry Anika, I know I'm a stupid. I always wanted you to be happy but I end hurting u. I'm sorry dear, I gave u a lot of pains on those two days, but believe me i din intend to do this but u know na, when it comes to my family I'll forget everything. So plz dear, forgive me... I know that I'm very bad, but trust me jaan I love u more than anyone thinks... I really can't live without you dear...

            Anika, do u remember our first meet??? I really don't know what u felt about me... but for me, I found the missing part of my life. One of the important person of my life told me this when I was in relationship with Mallika that ' someday someone will come in front of u to break the cold wall that is surrounding u and that someone will become a part of u. You will began to feel for her, but ur ego and attitude will not allow u to accept that feeling and u will began to fight with your inner feelings and finally someday, ur heart will win and u will remember me' becoz that person knows that the relationship I have with Mallika was not from heart.

           The person was right Anika. During our first meet, I felt like I found the missing part but my ego and attitude didn't allow me accept the fact. So I thought to avoid u by making u to move away from me. But after every fight, I felt like I was loosing a battle because, for me 'mind in front seat and heart on the back seat...' and here after our every meeting my heart wins and mind fails.

             Then you came to Oberoi Mansion as my wedding planner. You won everyone heart by ur charm Anika. Then u called me Billuji, u fought with me, throw water on me and u know what u r the only one who dared to do such things to me. You were least affected by my money or power, that impressed me a lot. You know what Anika, my love towards u is love at first sight but the arrogance in me didn't allow me to accept it.

           During all the time u were in Oberoi mansion, I felt that I would lose all my control over me and will tell my feelings to you that what I feel for you. All the time when I think about you, I just wanted to make sure that u are safe or not becoz I cannot afford to loose u Anika. When I saw u unconscious for the first time, I felt as something left me and that feeling made me numb. That's y when I saw u unconscious in SPA for the second time, I volunteerly asked u not to interfere in my life.

         After Daksh entered our life, many things changed and he always wanted to accept his feelings and he directly conveyed to me and he also challenged me that he will make u accept his feelings towards u. For the first time in me life, I felt insecure but I had a hope that u would ignore this. But all my hopes were destroyed when u accepted his proposal and then he challenged me that he will make u his before marriage.

           He challenged me and also the situation made me to believe me like that and so I preponed my wedding. During my wedding, I was just thinking about u and my feeling towards u and I made up my mind to ignore u. But after Tia fled from marriage and u made the girl to leave in the middle, I dont know what got into me but the thought of my family reputation made me to convince u to marry me.

            But the stubbornness u showed made me to show you the beast side of mine. I really wanted to marry u at any cost becoz of my possessiveness towards u and the anger that u accepted Daksh's demand. So I had to use your weakness against u. Im sorry Anika but I always wanted you in my life. After our marriage, what all i did it was all becoz of that Daksh. Later, when Daksh kidnapped you,I felt as if my world getting slipped away.

           You really don't know Anika,what i felt when u were trapped inside that glass water tank and fighting for your life. I felt like as if died Anika. That moment i felt that you are most important in my life and nothing else. But you know the situation at home especially ma, she is not at all ready to hear about you, so I thought of solving Tia's issues and then ours. But the trouble for our life always disrupt us from having a clarification in our life.

       To be continued..

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          Bye and take care guys...