Forgotten memories

Chapter 6

When the taxi moves forward into the dark night I look out of my window. Shops, people and houses shoot by. I have no idea what day it is but it's probably a Friday or Saturday as there are still so many people outside. I sigh and lean my head against the glass. What a mess.

My eyes move to the open bag that's lying on the seat next to me. The black phone is staring back at me. I hesitantly grab it and unlock it again. My heart aches when I see the picture of me and Niall again. We're both smiling at the camera, a city in the background. Just when the photo was made Niall looks at me though, it's actually kind of adorable. No stop.

I quickly slide to unlock and am relieved I don't have to fill in a password. It's stupid not to have one I know but I'm also glad, otherwise I'd have never been able to unlock it. My finger hesitantly hovers above text messages. I close my eyes when I click on it, scared for what I'm going to see.

When I open them again I see text messages from my parents, Harry, Niall, the boys and some girls. I click on Niall and am met by a long line of messages. I swallow as I read them, almost not believing I was the one sending these messages.

From: Nialler <3  16:30

Hi babe, just landed, it's madness in here! Only 35 days until I'll see you again.. counting off the days, miss you xxx

To: Nialler <3  16:41

Sounds exciting! See you on Skype tonight? 35 days sounds so long.. miss you too xxx

I quickly scroll down to the end.

To: Nialler <3 12:23

I'm headed your way now, be there in 1 hour! xxx

From: Nialler <3 12:25

Can't wait xxx

From: Nialler <3 13:50

Where are you? xx

From: Nialler <3  14:00

Really starting to worry, please answer xxx

Tears fill my eyes as I look at the last texts we sent to each other before the accident. We seemed so happy together and I ruined it all. I mentally facepalm when I think off how painful this must have been for Niall. I've only thought about myself, how badly I was hurt, while Niall must have been dying from the inside. Guilt comes up and my cheeks heat up, although no-one is here to see it. I've never been so ashamed of myself before.

I quickly lock the phone and throw it in my bag. Why did this happen to us? We looked so happy together. I stare out of the window again as I think of Niall. I can't just pick up where we left. I- I don't feel that way for him.. More guilt comes up. Why can't I feel what I'd felt before?

My mind wanders off to Jake. I should have known the flowers weren't from him. He never was very passionate about our relationship. Dick. Still I can't help feel the butterflies in my stomach when I think of him. Ugh I hate myself. These butterflies are meant for Niall, he deserves them. Right now I'm positive I need a break from this all. It's too confusing and it's eating me up.

I press my head harder to the cold window as the cab takes me further into night.