Forgotten memories

Chapter 7

'Honey you're back!' I hear behind me as I pass the cab driver the last of my money. I give him a polite wave before turning around, only to be met by one of my moms incredulous hugs. I laugh as my right arm is awkwardly crushed in between us. She quickly releases me after she sees my pained expression.

'I'm so sorry I couldn't come, but everything was so hectic around here with Alan and the business and Harry promised to take care of you, I'm just so glad you're fine!' My mom rambles on as she takes me inside. Despite the darkness I notice our house still looks the same from the outside. The only significant difference is the new porch light and the new bench on the side of our house.

'Who is Alan and what business?' I ask confused.

My mom gives me a quick glance and a slight blush appears on her cheeks. She walks into the kitchen and starts making two cups of tea. I guess some things will never change. I sit down on the barstool and watch her. She looks older and very tired. She finishes making our tea and puts it on the table between us. She sighs as she looks at her tea.

'Harry told me what the doctor's said,' She sadly says, 'I'm so sorry honey,'

I keep silent, not wanting to be talking about this subject. It's still a very sensitive subject and I'd rather forget about it for a while.

'Eh- this is eh- hard to explain,' She continues whilst looking at her tea, 'I met Alan three years ago during a conference. He- I- eh, we fell in love and have been dating for 3 years now,'

A blush creeps upon her cheeks and a smile is on her lips when she speaks of him. I swallow. How could I forget about something this big? I don't even know whether I liked him or not. Dad and her have been divorced for a long time now, I've gotten used to it. He moved away with his new girlfriend to France 3 years uh 6 years ago and we hardly have any contact any more. I know it's because I don't want to speak to him, I hated him for running off, leaving my mom so sad.

'Kate?' My mom asks softly as I feel her gaze on me.

I hadn't even noticed the tears falling down my cheeks when my mom walks around the table and wipes them away. She pulls me in a hug and I start to cry out loud. I let her comfort me, she's the only I allow to. I cry and cry and after a while there are no tears left. I calm down slowly and my mom releases me as she keeps looking at me worriedly. I avoid her gaze and quickly take a sip of my now cooled tea.

'I'm so sorry mom,' I mumble as I stare into the darkness. I hear her sigh before she walks into the living room.

'Come, I want to show you something' I hear her say from the other side of the room.

I climb off the chair and follow her through the living room outside into the backyard. There are lights hanging in the trees and it just looks beautiful. Much better than I remember. She sits down on a bench that has a view over the whole garden. I slowly sit down beside her while keeping my eyes focused on the lights.

'I always sit here when I want to think about stuff,'

We're both silent for a while as we stare at the beautiful scenery. There's a new pond on the left side of the garden, water falling down from a mini waterfall.

'It's so hard, so unbelievable hard when everyone knows everything about you and you don't' I break the silence after a while.

'I know honey, I know. But there's nothing you can do about it. You'll just have to accept it and take it easy, everyone wants the best for you.'

I close my eyes for a moment. 'They lied to me mom, they lied, so I run off'

I feel my moms gaze on my as I swallow the lump in my throat away. No more tears.

'Who did? The boys?' she asks with concern as she studies my face from her side. Her fingers are fumbling in her lap.

'They lied about Niall- Niall and I's relationship' I silently say while looking numb ahead of me. It's hard reviewing it.

'Oh honey,' My mom says as she puts her hand on my knee. I look away. 'They probably didn't want to scare you off, they truly only want the best for you, especially Harry and Niall'

I close my eyes one more time, seeing Niall's face in front of me. The bags under his eyes, the tired look on his face. I quickly open my eyes again, feeling all guilty again.

'Tell me about Alan,' I change the subject.

Mom starts talking hesitantly at first but after a while she loosens up and tells me all about him. How they met at that conference and how she first didn't want anything to do with him. But he tried and they went on a date, followed by more. When they were officially dating she introduced him to us, Harry apparently liked him immediately but I was more difficult to come around. I've always been stubborn and since my dad left I don't trust men that easily.

But after a while I cooled down and actually bonded with Alan. According to mom we got along really well. I truly hope I'll like him again. It's difficult because I just can't remember him. Mom tells more about the trips they made and the business they started together. They began a small restaurant in the centre of town, and it actually became a great success. Business has been hectic lately that's why they weren't able to visit me.

They run it together along with a cook and a help, still it's full almost every night. I listen intently, taking in all the info she's giving me. When she's finally done telling I yawn. It must be around 3 in the morning and my but becomes pretty sore of all the sitting.

'Time to go to bed I see,' My mom chuckles at me. I pull out my tongue at her and we both laugh.

'Oh one more thing. Eh I hope it's not too big of a shock for you,'

I pull up one eyebrow, encouraging her to continue,

'He proposed to me two weeks ago, here in the garden. Eh we're getting married,' She mumbles as she shows me a beautiful ring on her ring finger. I gape at it. That's a big step. This does make it more complicated, but I decide I'll just be happy for her. She deserves it and he clearly makes her happy.

'That's great mom,' I say while pulling her in an awkward side hug, using only my left arm. She releases her breath as she sees I'm happy for her and smiles.

'I'm glad you're still okay with it, now up to bed, you'll meet him tomorrow, he's still at the restaurant finishing up,'

I stand up and give her a small smile before walking back in the house. When I'm in the living room I turn around one more time and see her sitting outside looking out into the garden. She looks so fragile. She's probably waiting for Alan to come home. I sigh and walk upstairs. Fortunately everything looks the same and I find my room in an instant.

The posters on my walls have been removed and on one wall hangs a collage with pictures of me and my friends. I study it for a while, but can't recognise anyone. I ignore the picture of me and Niall and climb into bed. All this info has made me extremely tired.

I stare into the darkness and think about Alan. I still don't know whether I like him or not, for me he's just like all other guys, unreliable. But apparently the old me liked him, so may be I'll give him a chance. We'll just have to see tomorrow.