~Let me tell ya...~

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**Offender POV**

It's been nine years since Zalgo was put in the ground and put to rest... During this time, the Slender mansion has really improved, I mean, Slender even lets me smoke inside... sometimes. Everyone's allowed to go back outside and do their normal pillaging, killing and pranking, like it used to be. 

________ has been absolutely lovely, I can't tell you how enchanted I am to have her as my own. She never fails to surprise me, and frankly, I never fail to surprise her either. Just recently, I proposed to her, and... She accepted! I can't believe it really, and neither can anyone else. Slender nearly fainted, Jeff's jaw dropped and Splendor? Oh my goodness, he wouldn't stop squealing, it was so annoying. But, it is Splendor we're talking about. He just can't help himself.

And today? What's happening today? Um... I'm meeting ______'s family. Yeah, I'm not feeling so great right now, I've been chain smoking for the past 3 hours. How the hell are they going to react to me?! Are they going to try to kill me? What the fuck am I supposed to expect?

"Hey baby~" _____ cooed. 

I quickly smoked the rest of my current cancer stick and stomped it out before covering the other 150 cigarette buts with dirt. "Ah, y-yeah? What's up?"

"You ready? You've been out here for quite awhile," She questioned.

I sighed. "I'm gonna tell you the truth. No, I'm not ready at all."

"Oh, well I was gonna let you know that Slenderman figured out how to help you with your... insecurity."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"I knew you were going to be nervous about showing up as a faceless, shark grinning, tall snow-white slender, so I asked Slender about what to do and he pulled something out for you."

It took me a moment before I realized what she was talking about. "No... You don't mean?"

She pulled a small leather pouch out and handed it to me. "I think you might know what this is."

"I do." I poured the contents of the pouch out into my hand and grimaced at the familiar silver powder that spilled out.

A memory suddenly flashed in my mind.

Don't you want to blend in with the humans?

Yeah! I wanna make them happy!

Shut up Splendor, I wanna go out and make them fabulous first!

If I take this powder, can I flirt with girls?

Hush, all of you. You want to be with the humans, you have to look like them.

The memory suddenly disappeared and I rubbed the powder into my hands. "I'm going to look a lot different. Do you mind?"

"No, whatever makes you comfortable."

I took off my hat and prayed that it wouldn't hurt that bad this time as the powder settled into my skin and the magic began to happen.

I was going to be a human... Temporarily.

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