Here's the good shit for you stinky cucks
It's was a crisp autumn evening, you were slouching in your teal coffee chair. Sipping on a bourbon spiked latte whilst browsing various episodes of diners drive-ins and dives on your Mac Book Pro. Red and brown leaves were fluttering to the ground right outside of your window, everything was perfect. But then, You saw him. The gorgeous man, he was your dreams, your goals. Everything you needed in life was just starting at you, blankly in the face. He looked as if he was sculpted in God's image. His icey blond hair, messy and unkempt. He standed stotic in his wrinkle-free black and red polo. You can feel your cheeks heat up as a rosy blush is painted across your face. His dark brown eyes captivated your every need, holding desires that made you weak. Sadly, the man who towers over your 4'9" petit figure. Was only a man on tv, you could never have him to yourself as he was married and in a way higher social status than you. Slowly you feel yourself drift into bliss as four more episodes rock you to sleep.
...
You awoke from your slumber as frantic pounding on the door filled your ears. You checked the clock on your computer and realized you were asleep for 5 hours, as it is now 1:00p.m. Wearily you walked to the front door in short strides. As the pounding got more desperate, the faster you went. Soon you were at the door.
You checked through the peephole to see who's there but you were met with a strange silver nothingness. Almost as if someone was covering it with a knife. You had to know who was behind the door, as the knocking stopped. You flung the door open, revealing him, your dream man, Guy Fieri. His scent of mayonnaise over powers you as he takes a step closer. You stand still, paralyzed as he closes the door behind him and wraps an arm around your small waist. "W-why are you here," you managed to stutter out as he caressed your delicate arm. "Because, my sweet Y/N. I would like to put my sausage in your meat grinder." He whispered horsley into my ear. "But Guy, you're married." You retorted, but alas, he said. "That was all for show, she's really my cousin." Bewildered, you asked him, "Wait, but you have children, were those actors or something." Guy snickered at your comment, and soon after he gave you a respons. "Well if it ain't broke, she was a solid ten, what can I say." You weren't disgusted at this, quite the opposite actually. "Well mister Fieri, fuck me like you fuck your cousin." He looked you up and down and softly replied, "yee haw."
That night your were plowed straight by sir Ferrari's hard 2 inch pinch.
If you find any mistakes, tell me.
