'Cry of Fear' The Book

Chapter One

"- Um... hi? I'm Simon and... I'm 19. I don't know, my doctor told me to write this book about how I feel or whatever. It's stupid really but... I guess I'm doing it anyway. I don't really know where to start to be honest. I've never written a book before. I guess I could tell you about myself. Like I said before, my name is Simon Henriksson and I'm 19 years old. You might think that's a great thing but for me... it's quite the opposite. I'm crippled you see. Stuck in a fucking wheelchair for the rest of my life. Heh, it's a long story. Oh and, I forgot to mention that I'm broken. Yeah, you know, falling apart? I'm just a normal, old kid that's giving nothing and will never submit anything to the world. A waste of space. A worthless life and how does the world treat me? It drops me into a what feels like an eternal hell. But that's probably my fault, really. Every single day, I'm confronted with depression and anxiety and no matter how many pills they force down my throat, it's never going away. I'm trapped in this one. Alone. Standing by myself, against the shit I face every day. Standing against the cruel grip of society as they mock me with their judging eyes, laughing at me and putting me down. Standing against the monster of my nightmares... Myself. And I won't listen to what the doctors say. They tell me that they're there for me and they want to help me but... I can see through that fake skin. I see through all of their acts. They don't give two shits about me. That's not what they're paid for. They only care about themselves. Selfish bastards. Nobody cares about a pointless little kid like me. And why would they? What have I given that's special? Nothing. My life is pointless. Fucking pointless. And the sad part is, it never started this way. Back in school? I used to have... a family. People that cared. Well, the closest I'll get to being 'cared' about. Yeah, believe it or not, I never used to be like this. Sure, I used to fight a lot but, at least I had a social life. Even if it left me with a bloody nose or a bruised arm. So... what did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I guess my anger issues didn't help... nor did my dad but I never liked him anyway. My mom was the only person I could trust. Well, kind of. She always tried to help but in the end she just seemed too protective of me. I do love her though. And all of those fight I got into? Ha, I remember them as if they happened yesterday. 'David Fucking Leatherhoff'. That name just... sparks something in me, even the mention of him. We were mortal enemies during school; everything he did was to piss me off. Every day, he'd just start on me when I had absolutely nothing to do with him. Granted... I could have just walked away but how many chances to you get to beat a guy in the corridor, in front of everybody? He knew I liked this one girl... uh, Sophie. He knew I was slowly falling for her... I think I still am to be honest.  He knew and yet he tried his best to make sure I never saw her. He didn't even like her, he just did it 'cause he knew I liked her. Fucking selfish ass junkie. I hate him. And I think I'm starting to... hate Sophie too. I try and try to make her see just how much she means to me but she never listens. I told her that I loved her a while back. She just... She told me that she had to go. Not even a 'goodbye'... not even a 'sorry'. She just turned around and walked off like it was nothing. I felt like shit that night so I walked home instead of getting mom to pick me up. Minutes later I... was sent to hospital after a car accident...  And you know what made my day even worse? Not one person showed up. Not mom, not Sophie. Nobody. It was just me in hospital with a bunch of random doctors and nurses giving me painkillers and shit. Oh, Purnell was there at the time but I didn't know him back then. He was the one that told me that I'd probably never walk again... Fuck my life...

I can't write this shit any more. It's making me feel worse about myself. I'm ending this chapter. What a stupid idea. 'Write down your thoughts and feelings' he says. 'I'll make you feel better' he says. Yeah, fuck you Purnell. Fuck you all. I'm done. -"

(The Crawler represents Simon's crippled state. as the Crawler only moves with his hands. The Krypandenej variation has his legs completely broken, which represents how Simon's legs are broken and useless after the hit-and-run accident.)