Hope and Fear

Hope is Lost

Its always been one of my favorite Shakespeare monologues.

That tis the question....
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them....

I have often had a fleeting thought about what is it like when a person comes to the end of their rope. The whats and whys.

Im reminded of the riddle of how do you eat a 2 ton elephant?  One bite at a time.

Well, thats what its like. One moment at a time, stacked upon another moment, stacked upon moment after moment, stacked upon fear. Somewhere in that stack are a few hopeful moments but the darkness of fear blocks out any ray of hope.
The pain is never ending. The darkness is so thick.
My fear is this is never going away. Each new day used to bring with it hope and excitement. Now - its just a deeper darkness. Every time a sliver of hope was seen shining through the darkness a great darkness swept in and covered it. Its never ending. Even God has left the darkness.
Im tired of stumbling through the dark. Im weary from every battle and the scars still sear with pain.

All hope is lost!