Hurt (Paul Lahote FanFiction)

Prt 3

It was like all the pain I've felt since I last saw her was multiplied by ten and it all came crashing down on me all at once. If she wasn't standing in front of me I would have broken down in tears then and there.

"Please Olivia, tell me that's not what I think it is" I almost whisper lifting her hand to her eye level.

She said nothing but simply pulled her hand from my grasp.

"You're engaged! When were you planning on telling me? Or was I gonna have to just wait for my invitation in the mail?" I said my jaw clenched somewhat in anger but mostly in an attempt to stop myself tearing up.

"Excuse me? How dare you! How fucking dare you stand in front of me right now and even think about giving me that sarcastic shit Lahote! We haven't spoken in four years, so I'm sorry that you weren't the first person I decided to call!" She almost screamed at me.

"Yeah and who's fault is that? I'm not the one that moved to another state, I'm not the one who changed my fucking phone number, I'm not the one that just gave up on us"

"I honestly cannot believe we are evening having this conversation right now!" She scoffed shaking her head.

"None of this even matters anymore, I've moved on, I'm happy. What we had, yeah it was great but we were just two little sixteen year old kids. We were too young to even know what a relationship was. The "love" that we had for each other was juvenile there was no depth to it"

Hearing those words come out of her mouth just made me want to grab her and scream in her face. Tell her that wasn't true, that I know exactly what love feels like, that I've felt it every damn day since we were fourteen years old. That there's no way to describe the love that I feel for her, that is more than just love. That everything about her, even just the sound of her heart beating in her chest consumes my entire being. That I'm drowning in the endless pit of bittersweet pain and emotional and nothing and no body could ever rescue me but her.

"You don't believe that! You don't believe that everything we shared together was nothing but just a high school fling! I know you don't" I said stepping closer to her, she made no effort to move from me this time. Looking down at her I could see her breathing speed up even though she was trying to hide it.

"How could you possibly know that, you don't even know me" she said starring up at me through a curtain of thick lashes.

"There's a lot of things I don't know Olivia, I don't know how aeroplanes fly or why the sky is blue, but the one thing I'm absolutely sure about is that I know you better than I even know myself. I know that you bite your nails when you're nervous and that your left leg twitches when you're drifting off to sleep. I know wiggle your toes and count backwards from ten when you feel anxious and that you cry not when you're sad but when you're angry. I know that you think that a sense of humour is the sexiest quality a person can have, that you're scared of the dark and dolls creep you out. That you love the smell of the rain and you think that bacon is over rated. I know that you have a birthmark shaped like a heart on your shoulder and the exact colour of your eyes. And I know that you still love me"

I'm almost panting from the speed that I rattled out my speech.

"I know that you can feel it, the way we connect, how right it feels just to be standing here together. You can feel the pull that our souls have for one another. I know that for the first time in the last four years you feel whole, like this is where you belong. Because I can feel it too, I can feel my body screaming to reach out and grab you to run my hands over your soft skin and get tangled in your hair. To lean closer and feel your breath against my mouth. To kiss you and hold you and keep you safe"

Reaching my hand out to touch her waist I pull her closer to me, curling my fingers into the skin on her back as she bumps into my chest. My other hand cups her cheek tilting her head up towards my face. Looking into her eyes is like some kind of hypnosis we are both caught in a trance, like we are no longer standing on the beach at La Push, but have drifted off into a whole other world one where it's just the two of us and no time has passed since the moment I imprinted on her.

Before we know it's happened our lips connect and my brain takes me even further into this land of sheer bliss, her soft lips moving against my own feels like no other satisfaction I've ever felt in my life. It's like it's the first time, no it's better than the first time.

I pull her body impossibly close to me and deepen the kiss grabbing a fist full of her hair at the nape of her neck. Biting softly on her bottom lip She gasps into my mouth, taking the opportunity I slide my tongue inside her mouth. I can feel the wet muscles fighting against my own and it almost makes me moan.

I don't know if this went on for seconds or hours but it was all over far too soon. She suddenly pulled away ripping herself from my arms. Hurt flashed across her face as she ran her fingertips over her swollen lips.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" She yelled stepping further away from me.

"Olivia..."

"No Paul don't! Just shut up for one second and let me talk. You can't just stroll back into my life like nothing happened! And what? Expect me to jump into your arms and run away with you. This is the real world not some fairytale or some shitty romantic comedy. Wake up Paul! Some big speech and a kiss doesn't change the fact that I'm marrying someone else, that I've moved on without you" her voice is quivering and the hand that she's waving around is shaking.

"Please don't say that"

"Why? Why is it so hard for you to believe that I don't feel the same way, I'm sorry that you do but that's not my fault. You did this to us, you lied to my face and pushed me away. You pushed me too far and I gave up because I'm sorry but I wasn't about to waste my life sitting around and waiting for you to grow up and be honest with me. And now you're too late. I don't want you. I don't love you. Stay away from me!"

It was like her words turned me to stone I couldn't speak, I couldn't move I just watched her run away from me. I watched my day turn to night all over again as she sped along the sand. Leaving me more broken than I have ever been before.