expectancy ; jackbum

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Somewhere along the way to Jackson's house he had started crying.

Tears rolled down his numb cheeks, staining his emotionless face with pain and sadness, even though he didn't feel it deep inside. It was like smiling, and how sometimes the smile doesn't reach the eyes the way it would if you were truly happy. His tears fell, but it didn't reach his heart.

He was hurt, yet his mind was blank, a clean slate of grey as his feet walked on the equally grey, wet ground. It had barely stopped raining when he left the club, the city filled with the aroma of fresh earth that now sat condensating on window panes. A few drops fell onto him here and there, a tear dripping onto the front of his shirt as well. He didn't feel sorrow or anger-- he felt tired.

He would have left the club as soon as he parted from Youngjae, but someone stopped him before he got to the door. 'Don't leave yet,' they said, 'it's still raining-- have a few more drinks, on me.'

The extra alcohol settled in, making its way deeper into his body and taking control. He felt his mind shift, his body spreading with nullness and his fingers turning numb. The feeling washed over him like the fresh rain, each droplet hitting every inch of his skin until he was doused in the sweet liquid, left to soak. Jackson's house was the shore, he supposed. As he made it to the door, his breathing came out quicker, yet not as easily as he wished.

The door opened after his hand subconciously knocked for him, a few minutes of heavy breathing passing before the boy appeared.

"Jaebum," he heard his name being spoken, and it sent a cracks to form along his heart. It was Jackson, his mind caught up to understand where he was, to take in his surroundings. He was with Jackson, his own feet had taken him there.

"I'm tired," Jaebum mumbled, lips barely moving around the words, "let me in, please."

He hadn't realized what he had said, but the look on Jackson's face made him wonder. He was more drunk than he had previously thought, so drunk that he felt himself falling over. Jackson caught him and pulled him inside, wasting no time before they were in his bedroom. He watched as if he were just an on looker, and like he wasn't occpying his own body as Jackson undid his clothes for him. He watched the man undo his tie, unbutton his shirt with slim fingers and set the items aside.

"Jackson, how did I get here? How did I..." His voice was slurring beyond control, tongue completely numb in his mouth. Jackson ignored for a moment as he undid Jaebum's belt and slid it from the loops, undoing the zipper and button as well.

"You walked here, and you're all wet." Jackson replied grufly while trying to pull the pants from the mans legs without any help from his dead weight. Jaebum threw his head back onto Jackson's soft pillows, the soft scent of the boy arising to his senses. He rolled over to bury his face closer to the fabric, smelling soft cologne and sweetness. He ignored the grunt from where Jackson stood, still trying to get the stiff pants off.

"Jaebum-ah, let me take these off," he whined, tone showing that he was tired. It was past 2 a.m., after all. The man had woken him from his sleep and now offered no help.

Jaebum mumbled something while turning over again, trying to kick the pants off further but getting stuck. He sighed in content when Jackson finally pulled them off and threw them aside, then watching as the boy walked out of the room with a hand running through his hair.

Jaebum let his eyes slowly roam, body feeling damp from the wet clothes he just got out of and hot from the air of the room. He took deep breaths, the air hot as it entered his lungs, too, forehead beginning to sweat. Typically after a night of drinking, he would get onto his bed after taking off all of his clothing, letting the silk sheets run against his skin. Apparently being on Jackson's bed didn't make a difference, and he began sliding his boxers down his legs to where they got stuck around his ankles. His white tank top was pushed up high enough to satisfy him, feeling the heat dissapear already.