expectancy ; jackbum

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He lifted the fork into his mouth, the food tasteless on his tongue.

His eyes cast low, staring holes into the plate before him, laser-like glare setting the food to flames. He ate, no matter how much he wanted to stand up and walk away from the table and go curl up in a dark corner. He ate because Jackson was across from him, and because his stomach was completely empty. Jackson had gotten him out of the bathroom after awhile, helping him shower the remains of the previous night away. All that was running through Jaebum's mind was Jackson.

He felt the boys soft eyes glance up at him once in awhile, and physically felt his gentle hand reach out and place itself on top of Jaebum's. He was warm, he was comfort, he was there.

Jaebum set his fork down and looked up, eyes meeting the dark brown of the others, feeling his entire body pulling towards him. He stood from his chair and gently tugged on Jackson's arm, silently asking him to follow. He did, following the man to the living room where he sat down and pulled the younger onto his lap.

"Just want to hold you," he murmured against the boys neck. Jackson didn't complain, moving to a more comfortable place with their chests touching. Warmth emitted from their bodies and colided into one safe space, their own atmosphere of silence. Jackson rested his head on Jaebum's shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck loosely, the others arms around his waist. There was a shared sigh.

"I'm sorry for doing that to you, Jackson."

The boy lifted his head to place a kiss on his cheek, "I don't want to hear it, there's no need to apologize. Instead, I want you to promise you won't drink so much again. It was too much and too dangerous to be out walking by yourself."

Instead of frowning at the nagging words, Jaebum smiled sadly.

"And let me help you, Jaebummie. I always want to help you, don't push me away." Jackson added, lips brushing against his neck as he spoke, littering gentle kisses to the skin. Jaebum sighed and let his head fall back, eyes closed.

"It was just a hard night. It's not everyday that you find out your best friend leaks all those rumors about you. Well, my ex-best friend."

Jackson lifted his head again, "is this the Jinyoung you mentioned?"

Jaebum opened his eyes and nodded lazily, "yeah, him, my best friend since high school. The one person I could stand in the business world. The one person who was always there-- did this."

Jackson's eyebrows furrowed slightly, hand running through the mans soft hair. His tongue ran across his lips subconiously in thought as he remembered Jaebum's words from the previous night, "I would never do that to you, you never have to worry about that. I'm here for you, and I'm staying that way."

"You can't always make promises when you don't know the future." Jaebum let his eyes fall closed again.

"Bummie--"

"I'm sure Jinyoung said that to me before too in some way, but look at me now. A failure, a sell-out, a 'fallen star'." He interrupted, not wanting to hear the boys promises. It hurt too much to hear, because he so desperately wanted them to be true, he wanted to believe. He wanted to think that he could have Jackson forever just like this.

"I'm not him, if I make promises I keep them until the very end," Jackson spoke strongly, "and I promise that no matter what comes our way, I'm here."

Our way.

"I love you, Jackson." Jaebum whispered, looking into those bright brown eyes again. Jackson's forehead gently connected to his, warm breath fanning his face, "I love you too."