expectancy ; jackbum

xxxxx

"Sir, you missed your meeting yesterday. Where have you been? Everyone has been searching for you--"

The voice was an endless stream from a broken faucet. He wished to reach out and turn the handle off, but no matter how hard he twisted it still trickled water down the drain. A waste of breath, he thought to himself as he made his way to his office.

"I was out."

Maybe those were the magic words, the voice instantly stopping.

"Alone? Did you make it home safely?"

"I'm here, aren't I? I'm a grown man, I don't need to be looked after." He said with a sigh, back popping slightly when he straightened up. The woman still spoke, even when he cast her an evil stare, seeming unphased by him-- daunting.

"Are you trying to pry about who I was out with? Are you jealous?"

Her mouth snapped shut and opened again incredulously-- caught red handed. "No-- certainly not, sir."

"Then go. I'm not here to fuel your rumors."

The woman pretended to look confused, her false eyelashes batting in such a way, "rumors?"

He scoffed, hands making their way into his tight pockets, "yes, I know very well you're all a part of it--" he took a few steps closer for effect, "and I'm here to end them. I haven't been getting lap dances, I haven't been drinking too much, and I'm not seeing anyone."

He swallowed hard at his own last words, tongue sliding across his dry lips, "there, all settled."

....

"Is this a grey hair, Jaebum-ah?"

The question came with a giggle that certainly caught him off guard, body shutting into some lockdown mode as his gaze shifted to the boy laid next to him, feet kicking in the air like a child. He wanted to scoff, to push Jackson's face away and roll his eyes, but he caught the glint of the soft strand in between the boys gentle fingers. A shade of grey.

What was this supposed to symbolize-- that he was getting older? That he's overly stressed? He stared at the strand turning circles between the boys fingers and searched for that fear inside of himself, the fear of his life growing shorter and stress piling higher-- but he couldn't find it. Not with Jackson there, laying with bare chest on his warm bed. His eyes were shades of endless boughts of sweet, savory honey waiting to be dipped into and tasted off fingertips, the golden glisten under evening sun like glitter. His lips were flower petals, young and delicate, as well as the rest of his blushed skin. So again, how could a simple strand of hair make him feel old, when he truly felt so young? Never had he felt as young as when he was with Jackson.

He plucked the hair from his fingers and blew it away, watching as it swayed towards the floor. He turned his face upwards towards the boy, eyes dancing across his face.

"God, you're so beautiful," he found himself speaking aloud, and maybe, just maybe a part of him did feel old. He was no more than a few years older than Jackson, yet the years of stress added numbers onto his age, and grey to his soft hair. He wished he could look as effortlessly flawless as the boy in his bed.

"I'm not," he brushed it off with a shy roll of eyes, "you are. You're much better than me, everyone knows it."

"Me? The old man with grey hair?"

Jackson chuckled and pushed him lightly, "I was playing around, you only had one. Which is reasonable considering the life you're living."

Jaebum moved his arms behind his head and sighed, the life I'm living.

"Why do I do it?" He asked without expecting an answer.

"Because you like it, I assume."

"No," Jaebum shook his head, "maybe at one time. But if I got to do what I truly liked, it would be to stay here all day long. To lay completely naked in my silk sheets all day, to never get up and walk another mile in those shoes I put on. To never have to speak like I'm someone else, to never have prying eyes on me," he spoke in a quiet tone, "to lay here with you and to actually feel something I want for once."

Jackson cocked his head to the side, "like what?"

Their eyes met once again, "like your lips, and your touch."

Jackson licked his lips, the action so familiar on the raw skin. He did it so often that he was unaware of the habit.

"I want that too. I want to feel that, too." His voice sounded gentle yet desperate, a tone that screamed that he understood. That he felt the same somehow.

Their lips met feverishly, yet Jaebum tried to slow it down to try and savor it. It felt as if they hadn't spent the previous hours together, and as if this had been their first kiss. And yeah, maybe the rumors were mostly true about them, but that didn't change the way this made them feel.

Jaebum rolled on top of Jackson, a primal feeling taking over his body, a feeling he often felt but didn't act upon. He had thoughts of making Jackson his, of making Jackson melt under his touch-- and he wanted that. He wanted Jackson to writhe in such pleasure that he wouldn't know how to breathe easily, to come completely undone and let his stress go down in the flames of his touch. He wanted to give, and wanted Jackson to receive the pleasure if he wanted it as well.

But he pulled up for air to breathe, body lingering above his in uncertainty, "do you need a ride home?"

Jackson's eyes searched his, darting between each orb for some answer to an unknown question, "no, I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, because I'm staying here tonight, with you."

"Wha-?" Before Jaebum could even finish the word he was pushed over, rolling onto his back with a weight pressing down on him, lips connecting again.

Brown eyes started down at him, sticking like golden honey, "I'm not done with you yet."