SMS \\Newtmas AU

0.38

Thomas walked up to his front door, kicking somewhat awkwardly at the pavement. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and his shoulders slouched.

It was still hard to come home everyday only to have images of Chuck haunting his mind. Chuck was a spot of sunlight in Thomas' life. One that, like so many others, had been snuffed out in the most cruel of ways.

Thomas opened the door and stepped into the main hall. The hall immediately spread out into the small living room then again into a hallway with Thomas' and Chuck's rooms and the bathroom room attached then directly at the end, facing him now, was his mother's room.

Dropping his backpack, Thomas noticed light shining through the window in Chuck's room and reflecting on the hardwood floor. Chuck's room had remained locked ever since they'd returned home without him.

He stepped gingerly towards the door. Thomas clenched his shaking hands into fists. His throat closed painfully with approaching waterworks. 

The door was slightly ajar, Thomas pushed it open gently and it swung open, creaking on its hinges.

Teresa lay on her son's bed sobbing into his pillows. She muttered and moaned incoherent sentences and screamed at random intervals.

Thomas stopped breathing. Shock raced through his veins and froze his form like ice. The first trail of salty water escaped his eye and slipped quickly down his cheek and hit his shoe.

He stepped forward carefully, trying to be quiet. Teresa's soft cries filled the room.

Another step and his foot clinked against glass. He looked down to see a large empty vodka bottle, open and lying on its side. Teresa had been drinking

Thomas glanced at his mother. She had turned to him at the sound of the intrusion. "I want him back. I want my Chuck back." She whispered, her voice still choked up from tears and scratchy from her screaming.

Thomas' heart cracked as he looked into her red, sorrowful eyes. He walked over and embraced her as if to comfort her. She pushed him away with surprising strength and anger.

"Don't touch me! You killed Chuck! You. It was all you ,Thomas. You killed him. I hate you." She spat the words at him like poison.

For Thomas, time froze. The world around him shattered into shards as the first sob escaped his mouth.

"Leave Tom. I hate you. I hate you! You killed Chuck! You killed my son!"

Thomas did. He backed up, eyes not leaving the hysterical woman as she shrieked at him tears rushing in multitudes down her face. Then he ran. Thomas controlled himself enough to see. But his surroundings were still a blur. His mind refused to let him focus.

A gunshot.

Chuck's whimpers.

Yelling.

Screaming

Blue and red lights

"I love you, Chuck. "

Thomas forced his legs to stop. He needed to focus- to think. For once in his life, Thomas had to think about what he was doing. His chest constricted painfully as he took great gasping breaths.

Newt. He was at Newt's house. Thomas stumbled, still seeing doubles, to the door. His thumb hit the small button repeatedly- desperately. There was no Newt, no reassuring smile or hopeful eyes. Thomas moved away from the door. It was just now that it occurred to the boy how much he relied on Newt.

Behind him, the door opened and Thomas turned to stare straight into the eyes he'd been hoping for. He closed the distance between them and then fell into Newt's arms. The boy was taken aback. Thomas sighed in relief when he felt Newt hug back slowly then as tightly as Thomas did.

"Tommy-"

The words tumbled like a flood out of Thomas' mouth before he could stop them. "I killed him. Newt. I killed Chuck."

There was silence. Thomas held his breath.

"What the shuck are you talking about, Thomas?"

"Chuck. I killed him, didn't I? He- he sacrificed himself to save me. I killed him."

"N-no Tommy. C'mon let's go inside, yeah?"

Thomas allowed Newt to lead him indoors then upstairs. He splashed some water on his face, washing away tear streaks and beads of sweat. Then Newt guided him gently towards his bed where they sat, Thomas stared at their joined hands.

"Tommy? Are you going to tell me what happened?" Newt asked softly. Thomas sighed heavily. He suddenly felt weary, he rubbed hard at his eyes, letting Newt's hands drop from his.

Thomas recounted his experience from the moment he walked through the door,  thankfully, he thought, without crying. At the end, it was noted that Newt looked visibly upset.

"She lied, Thomas. You didn't kill Chuck."

"Yeah, I know." Thomas averted his eyes, "I just- I mean my mom-" He broke off. Thomas didn't know what to say. All he knew was something deep inside him hurt like nothing had before.  

"It's okay." Newt smiled. "Get some sleep. You can stay here tonight if you want to." 

Thomas nodded. Newt rose to leave. 

"I didn't forget about that night ....when we were texting." Newt turned back towards Thomas, arms crossed, "Y'know the night I was drunk?"

Newt flushed. "What do you remember?"

Thomas shrugged. "Well, the texts are still there so I remember that." He scratched his head. "And something about a pink rabbit?" 

Newt let out a laugh. Thomas grinned sheepishly.

"Did you mean it? I mean do you really love me or did you just say that to get me to shut up?"

Newt had known for perhaps a while that Thomas would approach him and in every one of his thought out imagines, he had not known how to answer.

"Have I ever lied to you, Thomas?"

The boy blushed and shook his head.

"Well, I don't plan on starting anytime soon. G'night Tommy."  Newt turned and left the room.

Thomas fell back on the bed, arms outstrectched and sporting a large grin. "Bye, Newt."

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Okay so this is day late and it's crappy but I have an excuse- Wattpad decided to be disagreeable and disgusting and deleted the ENTIRE TWO CHAPTERS I WAS WORKING ON. So I had to rush and they're not edited or anything.

:(

I'm sorry.