I'm at the corner of a rectangular room with full of darkness sipping through my veins. I can't leak from the pipe of the sanctuary place full of torns. Leaving me scars of the past that lingers my horrible body. I want to escape from this dreadful world of mine but this shittyful world never accept my worth.
Am I worthy in this world?
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Everytime I pull myself up, some people wants to bring me down in just a snap. Leaving a hurtful feeling lingering my mind every single day. Can't move on from frightful shits they say. Every single day, I doubt myself, Am I worthy of being part of this doubtful universe?
Does those memories I gathered will be worthy to make me feel better?
I'm just a crap book covered by a crumpled paper that can easily judge by others. They know all my history. They use all of it to bring me down and I can't get up from it. Can't get out from a dreams that keep on hunting me. I feel like I'm at a forest full of torns, scarecrows, scary wild animals who has all the eyes on me. I don't know how to get out on it. My body was full of bullet sweats because of scared. My knees goes wobbles as I see those people's faces who keep on mocking me. Telling me I'm not worthy in this world.
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It could be better that I wasn't born in this world. They're giving me a rope that will hook my neck so that I'll die. I keep digging my own grave hoping that I could hide there forever. Shame is hunting me. I'm seeking of importance in this world, but they never gave it to me instead they want the ground to eat me to the deepest core. I'm seeking for the love but even me, I can't love myself.
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I'm looking for a person who can be my pillow to cry all my problems but they're ignoring me like I something have a disease. It's not their fault, it's mine. I'm not perfect for them, I can't be perfect for them. I'm must not make a mistake for they will mock me to the core.
How can I get out from those shitty dreams? Or it would be better if I hide in my dark room forever?
