Lessons Learned

Safety Net

I tend to take a running leap into relationships,
Jumping into the space between me and him
Hoping he's put a net below to catch me
Trusting he's jumped too and we will meet in the center like trapezes artists
Hands stretched out towards each other
Ready for the weight when one of us begins to fall
And we catch on hooks made of fingers

I expect his hook fingers to catch me when I realize I'm already in descent
Fingers that wiped tears out from under my eyes and wove themselves into the tapestry of my hair
Fingers I pressed gently against my lips and let wrap around my soul
I may have let myself love those fingers
Every pad, every swirl that made him unique, every scar there
The stories of which vary in memory

But then I'd find I left my trapeze bar too soon
I look up and see him descending from his platform
Taking the latter rung by rung
I see he didn't stretch the net
No hooked fingers await my outstretched hands
And I fall
Hard