Give Me A Reason

The Incident (Four)

"Mind if I sit with you?", the question was simple, but it made my heart jump in my chest. I didn't trust my voice not to shake so I nodded and moved over to give him room on the bench. It was silent for a moment before anyone spoke. With each passing second I felt more anxious. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "am I making you uncomfortable?" My breath caught in my throat and the world started to spin. I shook my head to try and clear my head. Why did he affect me like this? "I can't... I'm sorry," I got up to leave but tripped and fell scraping my knees on the cement.  Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't breathe. Kevin was beside me and I could feel his warm arms embrace me, then I couldn't feel anything. He was saying something over and over, but I couldn't make out what it was. I couldn't hear anything anymore; I couldn't see. Everything had gone black.

~~~~

I woke up and felt someone holding me. I didn't know who it was but they were warm so I moved closer. Their muscles were firm and I felt safe. "Alyssa, can you open your eyes for me?" I knew that voice, it was so deep and gave me chills. I didn't want to move, I didn't want the safety to go away, but my eyes fluttered open and I saw the beautiful man that held me. It was Kevin. Immediately everything rushed back. Were we still at the park? I started to move away quickly, but instantly regretted it as I felt a sense of loss and the cold breeze embraced me. Kevin didn't move, he was cautious and looked concerned. "Are you okay," he asked with worry in his eyes. I was still confused by what had happened, but other than a scraped knee I was unharmed. "Yes, I'm fine." I dusted off the dirt that was on my pants and hands as I got up. We were still in the park so I must not have been out for long. "Have you eaten at all today?" The question wasn't unreasonable but it took me by surprise all the same. I couldn't remember when the last time I had eaten was, I had been working so much lately I didn't notice the growing hunger inside of me. My eyes widened with the realization and I shook my head.

~~~~

I sat on the barstool in his kitchen, I had insisted on going home and ordering takeout but here I was. There was something that drew me to him. He was moving around the kitchen getting food and seasonings to cook. "How long have you been cooking?" Hey smile is the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The whites of his teeth shone bright in contrast to his tan skin. "I started around age 7, so 13 years." I couldn't hide the surprise that his words. With a chuckle he handed me a glass of water, " my mom taught me young because I would always bother her while she was cooking. She figured if I was going to be in there anyway I might as well help her." Hey smile faded slightly and his eyes became distant. He didn't seem to notice as I got up and came to him. "I'm sorry," I said putting my hand on his shoulder. His smile wasn't as bright when he looked at me again.

We stood silently in the kitchen as he finished cooking. " how long of you been with Bridgett?" The question was innocent, but I could feel part of me hoping it wasn't too long. His sigh wasn't something I was expecting as he handed me a plate loaded with food. "Do you want an honest answer or the vague and simple one?" The man in front of me never cease to surprise me, making me realize how little I actually knew about him. There was another moment of silence as I ate the food before me. He hadn't answered my question but I hadn't answered his either.
"Kevin!"
There's a trailing voice outside the door followed by loud pounding. For second I thought I saw a flash of fear cross his features but it was gone as fast as it appeared. He took my hand in his and the warmth I had felt at the park returned. I was led to a small bedroom and we stopped in front of the closet. "I am so sorry Alyssa, please hide in here." I wouldn't have thought he was serious if it hadn't been for the panic look in his eyes. I nodded and some of the panic eased. "I will make this up to you," and with that he was gone taking his heat with him.

Tears filled my eyes to spell over. I could hear movement in the kitchen and Bridgett's voice. She was yelling something about Kevin not picking her up. There is a loud smack and then a grand. My breath froze in my lungs. A few seconds later the door slammed. I stood there breathless in the closet waiting for another sound but there was none. Cautiously I stepped out of the closet and quietly found my way to the kitchen. Kevin laid curled on the floor, a bright red handprint on his cheek that had already started to bruise. His body shook and his eyes were squeeze shit, I didn't know what to do. I got on the floor beside him and hold him close hoping I would be able to somehow come for him. What felt like hours went by and eventually his shaking stopped. "Alyssa," his voice sounded childlike. "I'm here," I tried to suppress the anger that had built up inside me. He pushed himself up from the floor, when seeing as he did so. "I'm sorry," he started to apologize but before he could say anymore I stopped him. "Kevin," my voice shit as I took a breath, " how long has it been like this?" I couldn't help it as a tear slid down my cheek. Here was standing with a man I barely knew but cared for deeply. He pulled out his shirt and held it to his afternoon, who's only then I noticed a gash across the stomach. The cut wasn't deep but I noticed there were other scars all over his torso if you look close enough. " we met online six months ago, it's been three months like this. I've tried leaving before but it was no use." The rush of emotions that went through me was breathtaking and heart shattering. He dressed the wound as if he'd done it so many times it didn't matter. "This is not love Kevin. You don't hurt the ones you love."

My heart was beating so rapidly I could hear it. I stepped closer to him, holding his face in my hands, his crystal blue eyes bore into mine and he couldn't hide the defeat he felt. "I know what love is. I felt it with my mother and saw it between her and my father before they passed. She hasn't been the only one and she probably won't be the last." His words were painful, although I hadn't thought about it much, but I knew that if I were to get to know him I would fall in love with him. " don't say that you don't know that," my voice came out more panicky than I'd hoped. " Alyssa," he paused, " please just forget you know about this. I can take you home." The keys jingled as he pick them up and walk to the door. I didn't say anything as I walked behind him.