Give Me A Reason

Silence (Five)

I didn't see Kevin after he took me home. The days passed on slowly and I tried to avoid any contact with Bridgett. This week I was working every day, but my attempt to use work as a distraction from the worry inside wasn't working. "Hey Alyssa, you okay? You've been staring at the screen for five minutes." Cortney was standing beside me with an amused look on her face. "Yeah I'm fine, sorry I was just going over the new drinks again," I lied. I knew the drinks, probably better than anyone else working. Cortney looked at me questioningly, "it's slow, how about you take a 30?" Forcing a smile, I left to the break room.

"Good morining Alyssa," Bridgett smiled brightly, but her eyes looked as if she had been crying. "Good morning," I said hesitantly, "is everything okay?" The look she gave me made it seem like she didn't understand English. I tried to hide my annoyance as I explained, "you look like you've been crying." She waved her hand, "oh it's nothing, just me and Kevin are taking a break." My heart stopped, there were so many thoughts going through my mind I wasn't sure what to say. "Anyway it doesn't matter it'll get better," she looked certain as she walked out of the room. 

~~~~

There was a dark figure in front of the door as I pulled up to my house. It was dark outside so I couldn't make out what or who it was. When I stepped out of the car the figure moved. "Hello?" I thought I would be afraid but I wasn't. "Alyssa," his strong, deep voice was one I had come to know well. I didn't say anything as  I unlocked and opened the front door. I left the foyer light off as I held open the door for Kevin to come in. Once he stood in front of me I let go of the door and locked it. I could tell he was trying to figure out what to say and I had wanted so badly for him to speak to me, but now he was here and anger built up inside of me. "I owe you an explanation," he said as he took my hand melting away any anger I had. "After you saw what had happened I didn't know what to do." His hands moved so that he was holding my face to look directly into my eyes. 

Tears welled in his eyes and he just stared into my eyes. His fingers carressed my cheek before he let go. "We don't have to talk about it. You can stay here if you like." I had so many questions but decided they would be better kept quietly inside, at least for now. My parents were out of town so I led Kevin to my room to sleep, "I'll be in my parents' room if you need anything. It's just down the hall." He gave me a small smile as he entered my room, "thank you."

~~~~

I woke with a start, it was midnight, but I didn't hear anything outside the room. Something inside me felt wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. Dismissing the feeling I went into the kitchen for a glass of water. "I'm sorry if I woke you, I couldn't sleep." His deep voice frightened me as it came from the shadows. "No worries, it was just a dream I'd had. I'm sorry you can't sleep," I lied. The moonlight shone in throught the window and lit up part of the kitchen. I saw as he stepped into it closer to me. "I appreciate everything you've done for me." His eyes seemed to glow with the lights reflection as he stepped again closer. I tried to speak but words failed me. Before I knew it he was standing right in front of me. I stared deeply into the honey brown eyes I'd come to love as  I pressed my hands against his strong chest. Slowly his hands took hold of my waist, pulling me closer to him. "I need you to know that I have feelings for you," he whispered. His eyes still bore into mine as I nodded. He let go of my waist, but still stood close. He lowered his lips to mine and I felt the feather-like touch of his lips against mine. My hands moved up to his neck as he wrapped his arms around me. I could feel our bodies pressed together and my heart beating against my chest. "I have feelings for you too," our lips still touched as I spoke. His kiss was confident, the wetness of his tongue excited me as I eagerly allowed his exploration. A moan escaped me when I felt his erection pressed between my legs. I moved into him wanting to feel more of his erection; he gripped my waist and groaned, but then stepped back.

"We should stop. I don't want you to think I only want you for sex or something." In the darkness I could still see his erection, but chose not to acknowledge it. I kissed him again, partially to feel his lips and partially to comfort him. "You're right," despite the tingling feeling I had in my body I knew I wasn't ready for sex. "I should tell you, Bridgett and I are on a break, but I don't want her." I nodded in understanding, "she won't let you go." He didn't hide the regret as he took my hands, "I'm sorry I can't give you any more right now. I would love it if you were my girlfriend, but you don't deserve to be in this situation."