Alicia Zachary's Great Discovery

WEDNESDAY

WEDNESDAY

insecurity

/insiˈkyo͝oriti/

noun: 

1. uncertainty or anxiety about; lack of confidence

insecure

/insiˈkyo͝or/

adjective:

1. (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious

Alicia read these words two definitions in the self-improvement book her mother had handed her early that night. She had only read approximately three pages total but felt completely assured that the author of the book was three things.

1. pretentious

2. old

3. rude

Alicia gave up on reading the book when it reached the topic as to why one might feel insecure. i know why i feel insecure already you stupid book, she thought to herself, then threw the book across her bedroom. The book first hit her green wall and then fell on her book shelf, knocking down something. Alicia slowly moved from her bed to find the item that had fell to the floor. She picked up the item (a STREET STYLE cd) and began to get very nostalgic although the last  time she had listened to the cd was, at the latest, two days ago. The fact that the four boys in the group  were now in their early to mid thirties didn't bother Alicia, but frightened her mother Harriet. Harriet was quite disgusted with Alicia's nerdiness. When Harriet was seventeen herself, she was the most popular girl at her high-school. Boys lined up at her doorstep, begging for her to date them. Flowers being sent to her house daily was normal and she had even been Prom Queen. The last time Alicia had even had a boyfriend was in pre-kindergarten ,and that relationship only lasted two days. Not to mention the fact that being Prom Queen was unfathomable to Alicia at this moment in her life. 

While admiring the album cover of the four boys that had befriended her two years ago, subconsciously grabbed her jet black hair she had died about a month ago in dedication to STREET STYLE. Her mother Harriet then bursted into the room overjoyed, startling Alicia. 

"Mom, haven't I told you to knock!" 

"Whatever honey, I have great news for you!" Harriet exclaimed excitedly. Alicia rolled her eyes, whenever Harriet said something of that nature it meant she had bought an ugly dress for Alicia, she was going to force Alicia to a ridiculous party, or she had found some new diet for Alicia to try. Alicia annoyed, asked her mother what it was. 

"There is going to be a Princess Ball the night of your birthday!" Harriet yelled, practically dying of happiness. Alicia dropped the cd in shock. My birthday is this Friday, she thought. The DC Comic Festival her town held every year on her birthday, which coincidentally was the fourth of July. 

"What the hell is a Princess Ball?" Alicia questioned. Before Harriet replied she sternly reminded Alicia to watch her language.

"The Princess Ball is where girls your age dress up in lovely -oh just beautiful- dresses Alicia! It's a competetion and the girl who wins will win a certain amount of money to apply to any college they wish!" Alicia huffed, sitting down on her bed adorned with Green Lantern sheets. Whenever her mother suggested something or came to Alicia with "good news", Alicia was always forced into doing something flagrant and humiliating. 

"Mom, you know the DC Comic Festival is that night." Alicia reminded. Her mother waved her off though.

"But Alicia! I've already picked out the perfect dress and Courtney, Hilary and Cassie are going to be there!" 

"Mom," Alicia whined. "Courtney, Hilary and Cassie hate me. They always have and they always will. And it'll be my eighteenth birthday, shouldn't I have a say in what I want to do since 1. It''ll be my birthday and 2. I'll technically be an adult, therefore be able to decide what I want to do."

"The dress has been picked out Alicia and you're going to be going on a diet tomorrow and are going to go out for a jog tomorrow morning after we go to the dress fitting." Harriet demanded. Alicia fell back onto her bed and screamed into her pillow, resembling a young child begging to stay up past their bedtime. 

All of Alicia's life she was forced to submit herself to to what others wanted her to do. With doing so, she had never truly had the chance to figure out who she was and what interested her other than DC Comics, the Green Lantern and STREET STYLE.

Harriet stormed out of the room complaining about Alicia's "ungratefulness". Alicia picked herself from her bed and picked up the self-improvement book and skimmed through it. Each page that discussed why one would feel crap about who they were, she couldn't help but think that the one and only reason as to why someone might hate who they were would be that they have no sense of self. Alicia had been aware that this was her problem for a long time, but continuously struggled to fix it and find out who she was. 

Alicia reasoned that she could go to the ball for a little bit and then go to the festival so she could do something she would enjoy on her birthday. But going to the ball for a small time and dressing up in the surprise dress her mother picked out, she could still please her and have some time away from her. Alicia then went to check the time only to find out that it was past midnight. She went to her bathroom which was lacking the appearance of a normal teenage girl's bathroom which would normally be cluttered with various beauty products and such. Her bathroom counter was occupied with a hair straightener, a toothbrush, toothpaste, one bottle of perfume and some hand soap. Alicia hesitated to look in the mirror, always frustrated with the reflection that stared back at her. No matter how well her hair had been done, it constantly remained frizzy and tangled. Her dark brown eyes contained no warmth to them like her mother and father's had. Up until two years ago, Alicia's face had been decorated with a round pair of glasses that were extremely too small and awkward looking. The only good thing about herself in Alicia's opinion was her skin. She rarely had any acne and her tan skin was always clear and clean looking. 

Alicia carefully took out her contacts after dissecting her appearance. Her vision instantly blurred and she cautiously walked over back to her bed. When she got settled into her bed, she clapped her hands twice turning all the lights out and went to bed.

Author's Note:

This is my new story, Alicia Zachary's New Discovery, and I would really appreciate some feedback on the idea and your thoughts on the first chapter! 

*dai-sey