Somebody I User To Know (on hold)

Chapter 6: The Truth About Dean

I took in what Dean had just said. He still loved me. I thought about the past.
I was 15. He was 23. Definitely a big age difference.

Dean had said he loved me once. He didn't say it often and it took him a few months before he said it, but he finally did. He was the first guy I'd ever loved and I was the first girl he had ever loved. I just kept running in my mind how a 23 year old man could fall in love for the first time with a 15 year old girl. I didn't think it was possible, but apparently it was.

"You what?" I asked.

"I still love you, Carter." He said sternly.

I could hear Emma and Paige gasp behind me.

"No, no Dean. You can't say that to me. It was 5 years ago." I said. "You cheated on me. By the way, how is your girlfriend?" I asked.

"Carter, I've only been in love with one girl in my life. Why would I bring this up 5 years later if I didn't really mean it?" He asked.

"I don't know......booty call?" I asked.

"So.....you two....?" Emma started.

"Dean, I was 15, okay. How could you? How could you do something like that to me?" I asked.

"I made a mistake."

"A mistake?" I asked furiously. "You slept with another women while we were dating. Look, I know I was pretty young for you, but you could've just told me you didn't wanna be with a 15 year old instead of cheating on me." I said.

"Carter, I DID wanna be with you." He said.

"Well, then why'd you do it?" I asked. "Why did you take something that was amazing and destroy it? Huh? I was your first love. You were my first love. Hell, you were my first time, Dean. Why'd you do it?" I asked. If I didn't get answers 5 years ago, I might as well get them now. He didn't answer. "Why are you even bringing this up?" I continued. "It was 5 years ago, Dean. I've moved on."

"I know. I haven't." He said. "Carter whether you believe me or not, I didn't care how old you were. But every single moment since you walked out that door that night, I couldn't stop thinking about you." He said.

"Oh so what? You mean to tell me that you've been thinking about me every second of everyday for the past 5 years?" I asked.

"I tried moving on, okay. I couldn't. So I just quit dating all together." He said. "I mean, I never really dated anyway. You were the only girl I'd actually consider a girlfriend." He said.

"No, you just took advantage of me because I was young and was lucky to have an older guy." I said. "Why did you like me anyway?" I asked.

"Because you made me feel different. It's a good different. That night I met you, I had never felt that great. I felt the same feeling last night when I saw you. And then you did your cute little boom thing and I knew it was you." He said. "I'm surprised you still do that. I miss you." He said.

"You never answered my question. Why'd you do it? Why'd you cheat on me? Why would you put me through that when you said you loved me? I was 15, Dean. What'd i do to deserve to go through that?" I asked.

"Carter, I hate myself for doing that to you. I've spent everyday since then regretting what I did to you." He said.

"You know, I was so heartbroken and messed up. After that happened I was in a funk. I started failing school. I started losing my friends cause I always wanted to be alone. I cut guys out from my life because of you. Because I was afraid I'd fall in love again and get hurt as badly as you'd hurt me. Dean, you weren't just some guy I'd screw around with. You were my first love. I risked everything to be with you. I started canceling plans with friends to be with you. I lied to my family. I lied to everyone. I risked EVERYTHING to be with you. And you just threw that all away." I said.