Friend To Lover - Steve x Bucky

Chapter 3

Bucky's POV
I knew I would get punished for it later. Showing remorse to the enemy, trying to fight the control and trying hide from them. They always know where I am. It doesn't matter if I'm halfway across the world, they will come and bring me back within seconds. Now I have to face the consequences for my actions. I'm trying to distance myself as the metal bar rains down on my body. I'm lying on the ground in my cell, trying to protect my head from my masters' anger. Most days it would be a lot worse. If I had failed a mission, they would give me an electro-shock treatment. And other days where I actually completed my mission, I would just be put back in my cell without food for a few days. Distracting myself didn't work when the bar hit my hard on my shoulder. I had a bruise there from when I was fighting Steve and it hasn't healed properly in the few hours I had to recover so the flesh was still quite sensitive, super soldier or not.
When the beating finally stopped I looked up and saw that I was alone in my cell. I couldn't quite tell but I didn't think there was anyone in there, but then again, there is no light so I couldn't say for sure. Uncurling myself from my position I pushed myself up against the wall and straightened up a little. Sitting hurt my back and leaning against the wall hurt my shoulder and my head, but no matter how I moved, or even if I moved all I could feel was pain. Until darkness consumed my vision.
*Time Skip*
As soon as I woke up I knew something was wrong with me. I felt sick, I still couldn't move and I had a constant stabbing pain in my stomach. The withdraw from any kind of nutrition had taken it's toll on me. Even with the serum in me it only worked if I had enough nutrients in me, which I didn't. I wondered how long I was unconscious, but my question was soon answered when my cell door opened with a loud rusted metal screech. The moment my master walked in my gaze dropped to the ground. I wasn't allowed to look at them because they were to good for me and I didn't deserve their generosity. As he started to yells I flinched at his harsh words;
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!? YOU LET YOUR WEAKNESS GET THE BEST OF YOU AND YOU LET IT TAKE OVER. YOU DON'T DESERVE SLEEP AND YOU ESPECIALLY DON'T DESERVE THE FOOD WE GIVE GENEROUSLY GIVE YOU!
I didn't dare say anything but I wanted to object. I haven't received anything to eat for a week and a half because I had failed my last mission. But I learned to not even dare and try defy them otherwise it would only make my life worse. I just decided to keep my mouth shut and take the hit.
The yelling continued for a while until he finally got tired of verbally assaulting me and left. As he left I saw him throw half a loaf of bread onto the floor. When the door closed I felt pure shame wash over me because I was being fed like some kind of animal. Maybe that's what I am, an animal who doesn't deserve to live. I suddenly became quite aware that I was only wearing a thin, cheap black t-shirt and long gray pants. I got chills when I realized I could see my entire torso through the shirt and the sight wasn't pretty. My entire torso and neck were covered in cuts, gashes and scrapes, not to mention the horrifying colour most of my skin turned. It was all completely purple and I didn't dare move in case I could open the wounds and have them bleed more. As I started nibbling on the bread I had a flashback from my most recent fight. Without warning I fell into my memories and for a moment I felt calm. I saw Steve. The sight of him almost made me smile, because knowing I saw him gave me hope that I could see him again. No matter when or where, but just remembering him made me feel better.
But reality hit me when I came out of my memories. I was still in a cell. I wasn't free, and will never be free, because they will never let me out of their grasp. Remembering that I actually attacked Steve made things even worse. Why would he want to see me if I tried to kill him. A tiny voice in the back of my head that I haven't heard in a long time finally spoke up and said:
"That wasn't you that attacked him."
I hadn't heard that voice in so long. They made sure of it. From then on I named that little voice Hope.