I know my last entry was kind of deep and stuff. Sorry about that, thats not typically me. And as i said before, It is very hard for me to write my feelings like this. So I am going to try something else, just for this entry I think. Lists are very easy for me and actually something that I write quite often. In the last diary entry I had mentioned there are some things that I want to do before I die, no matter what time that happens. Some may call it perhaps, a "Bucket List." This is not a bucket list. Maybe I'll post that later too. This, when I was writing it in a notebook awhile ago is something I had titled "My List of Things I Want to do but Will Probably Always Be to Chicken To Do" and for lack of a better title, I think thats what I would call it, so don't mistake this for my "Bucket List". That List is very different.
Without further ado-
My List of Things I Want to do but Will Probably Always Be to Chicken To Do:
-Check out a hot guy, knowing full well that he knows I'm checking him out. I know that sounds wierd, but I'm a very shy reserved person, and for once I'd llike to be bold, plus I'm not real strong in the guy department.
-Walk into school with a completely new style, the kind I like but am too shy or to scared to go for or change my no style to.
-Do something completley spontaneous and daring.
-Go up to a guy, kiss him like I mean it, and walk away.
-Come up with the greatest comeback, before the moment has passed, so that I can spit it right back in a notverynicenameforameangirl's face and leave her speechless.
-Just start dancing really good leaving everyone amazed.
-Tell my parents that I'm pregnant between the ages of 14-19 to see their reactions. (I don't actually want to be prego at this age though, just tell them to see thier faces) Just some background so that maybe this makes more sense, my parents are EXTREMELY strict. I'm 15 and still not allowed to say "crap", let alone anything worse than that. I earn straight A's, have a 4.0 as anything else, as my dad would put it, "Wouldn't be acceptable in his house or to the family name" even though my grandma told me he was a straight C student. I'm probably one of the only sophomores who can say that they are in bed by nine on a school night. Yup, now you see why I'd like to see their faces if I wasn't their "perfect little darling" anymore. haha, priceless, or suicidal, who knows? :)
-Get completly drunk and sing kareoke. but have a good friend there to keep me somewhat under control and safe. I don't even mean to be underage when I think of myself doing this either. I think it would be even more fun if I was a "responsible adult, with a steady job and all that.
-Walk into school or some sort of social event with confidence for once.
-Go jogging in just a running bra and short shorts, instead of my usual baggy soccer shorts and old tee.
-Play my cello in a talent competition.
Okay I know these may seem very wierd and random, but, I don't know, thes are just things I've always wanted to do. I tried to provide a little background information so i hope I didn't leave you completely confused, but i didn't want to ramble on and on either. Well there it is. My list of things i will probably always be to chicken to do.
