**Before you read, please note that it is currently 8:30 am and I still haven't been to bed. My brain is about 30% functioning right now. I'm sorry if this is shit, I tried. It looks alright, but that might just because I'm barely alive.**
So recently I have met some amazingly awesome people, who just so happen to be british. Talking to them has made me realize just how different our culture is to theirs. In honor of this, I decided to put together a list of ten tips on how to do the murica. Enjoy!
1. You must develop a taste for everything deep fried and unhealthy. The more processed , sugar coated, fatty, and just all around unhealthy, the better!
2. You must own a gun. It is mandatory or you cannot be murican.
3. Kiss fish and chips goodbye! Good luck finding a decent fish and chips shop, unless you're on the coast. Even then, you'll have trouble finding places that specialize in fish and chips.
4. 911, not 999.
5. On top of the unhealthy food, you must develop a taste for shit chocolate. Not gonna lie, the chocolate here sucks, unless you wanna spend like $5 per bar.
6. Get all that nonsense about pence/pounds/quid out of your mind! Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and dollars here.
7. Chips, not crisps.
8 . Fries, not chips.
9. Want a crumpet? Sorry, the best you're getting is an english muffin.
10. Finally, just prepare to have people constantly bombard you with cringe worthy impressions of you accent, along with demands that you talk in an american accent.
SO! I hope that was extremely helpful! :)
