Today was great, up until my sixth period. For no reason whatsoever, I started having a panic attack quietly, grabbing my bangs, and my eyes started to sting. I thought about all of my loved ones, and those I love, crying from my suicide. My valuable younger sister, younger brother, my older step sister, my mom, Jasmin, Mayleyn, Emily, Yatziri, Adrienne, Olivia, Alexia, Vinnie, David, Tony, Katie, my cousins Queendy, Jessica, and Tracy. The one person to include while thinking of my suicide, was Astro's Rocky. I thought I felt love before, but he opened my eyes to a new light that I've never felt before, yet I hate him for coming into my life harmlessly and I still want to kill myself. Desire. Wanting to be in a relationship. Friends. More than just a screen crush. I started crying in class. My other friends came over to help me and see what was wrong, but as soon as he came over, I acted like nothing ever happened and didn't know what he was talking about by "crying". I am only a young teenager. Why are there so many expectations put on me? I'm only fourteen. I have serious cases of asthma, ADD ( Attention-deficit disorder ), depression, and allergies. I already suffer enough. I might actually think I have Bipolar disorder. Having to be the Vice president of the Korean Culture Club and Choreography Leader of YuseongDC ( my Dance crew), I have more things to worry about because I don't even have good grades. I am trying to fix my grades, but my schedule fills it up. It worries because I get Invites to perform often and I have tutoring with my cousin, Annie. I don't know where my future will take me. I need help.
Do me a favor and comment for advice after reading this. Please?
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The Bell Jar, My Beloved Friend
FanfictionThis is a journal for my depression. I will be telling all of the things I have bottled up in my head during my daily life. All of the times I have thought, tried, and failed with suicide. I've been keeping it in for two to three years. I feel th...
