Into The Darkness. (Darkiplier x Wolf Reader)

Chapter 1

The morning comes. Then it goes. Then comes again and goes again. Over and over. Day for day, and week for week. Always the same; never changing. The school days only make me feel more and more numb. The block schedule seeming to constantly change, yet stay the same all at once. Confusing.

The same alarm waking me up for the same Monday as every other week. The same time to hide my depression. The same day to paint the same fake smile. No one will ever understand the pain of being like me... And I would like it to stay that way. Being a wolf makes me free. Free to be myself away from everyone. Human contact has never been my friend. Neither have social anxiety or being anti-social. But many other people have. Some people numb the pain. Others take it away all together. But neither one can permanently make it go away. Ever.

I wake up at 5:45 AM. Every day for school, usually excusing the weekends. Getting up and turning off my alarm from my phone, I welcome back the silence. So I get up and immediately go to my mirror in front of my bed, positioned on top of my dresser, next to the T.V. Plugging in my hair straightener and waiting for it to heat up, I turn on the tall lamp behind me, it being about as tall as I am. I see myself in the mirror, the extreme bed-head. Great. I go turn on the other smaller lamp on my nightstand. I sigh disappointed in myself when seeing the variety of food wrappers amoung the surface and empty cups near the edge.

I'll clean that up later.

I step to the side and pick out an outfit I would be comfortable in, yet still looking decent but not my best.

Some ripped jeans and a black tank top will do for today. I can wear my (f/c)[favorite color] jacket as some sort of shirt I guess. I don't really care right now.

I head over back to the mirror to only now notice how bad my hair REALLY is. My hair being frizzy and shaped with odd looking waves and curls from the way I slept last night, I knew I had better get started.

Wow. How attractive. I've only been single now, for what, a year and a half? Yea. I think so.

I WAS in a relationship. His name was Korbin. He was a great friend. After I hated him because he was two years younger than me and one of my slut like ex-friend, we became good friends. He asked me to be his over a text message and my awkward state of being said 'sure! Why the hell not?' And went with it. For three months. After the first week I felt guilty for not talking to him the way I've heard others talk to each other.

The "I love you"'s, and all of the "Oh god, I miss you so much" after being separated to go take a piss. I sent him a text... "I love you." I never thought I could hurt myself with those three words meant for tender love to someone else.

Three months I stayed silent. For three months I said nothing to anyone about my discomfort and masked 'love' for him. He kissed me at a concert, I lost my shit and called it off with him. Of course he was heart broken, and I knew it. We were still friends... But we were better friends. I DID love him. As a brother. Not as a boyfriend.

Pulling back into reality by the burning sensation on my fingers made me feel alive again. Straightening out the rest of my (h/l)[hair length] hair and running my fingers through, occasionally excusing my index and thumb from the burns, I realized just how full of color my (h/c)[hair color] hair really was. For all the time I spent scolding and hurting myself because of the ugly, messy, disgrace that I thought I was, I realized that I wasn't. I was actually pretty.

Stop being a damn Disney princess and get ready for school.

I got on my matching (f/c) converse and tied them up to fit my feet. I grabbed my bag and made sure I had the things I needed.