Dan Howell Smut

It will always just be me

When she shows up knocking at my door, I'm this close to slamming the door on her face. For an entire week, I didn't receive a call, text, or any form of communication from her. Not only did she make me crave for her attention, but her ignorance made me feel pathetic. Here I am, pinning my heart for the girl of my dreams. Too bad I'm too stubborn to see that my dream girl is also my worst nightmare.

"What are you doing here?"

She glides into my flat, initially not answering my question. She's wearing those pair of heels, the black "fuck me" heels that she purposefully teases me with. And her dress... damn it, she shouldn't be wearing such alluring clothing in public.

"Why do you think I'm here?"

I lock the door. Thank god Phil is spending the entire day with PJ. I don't need Phil to pity me again for having a weak resolve.

"Who is it this time?"

"What makes you think there's a who?"

I laugh bitterly. Does she think I'm blind? "I know you, (Y/N). Who's the poor sap this time?"

She pouts, dropping her purse on the floor. "His name doesn't matter."

"So there is a someone."

"It's none of your business."

"It is if you're just here to fuck me again," I snap.

She tenses. Gotcha. She's way too transparent.

"Stop talking." She steps closer to me until the front of our bodies touch. "Don't worry, I'll tell you later. For now-" she snakes her arm around my neck, "Let's have some fun."

I have to resist. This isn't worth it. I'm only going to be left with disappointment again.

"Look at me, Dan." Her thumb brushes along the corner of my mouth. "I'm sorry, okay? I've been busy-"

"Bullshit. If you were busy, you were busy finding another fuck buddy." I try to put some distance between our bodies, though she won't let me. Her arms stay around my neck and now her breasts are squished against my chest.

"It's not like that." Her voice trembles and vulnerability replaces her apparent lust. "You know I want to be with you. But we can't be together. My parents don't like you. Your fans will bash us."

Shit, I hate when she pulls that card. She isn't wrong. Her parents aren't entirely accepting of the idea of us as anything more than friends. The Phan shippers and zealous fangirls will definitely direct flames toward her. As much as I loathe her behavior, I know she's doing this to protect my reputation. She's scared of her feelings for me, so she's quick to say yes to any man who shows any interest to her, even when all those men only want her for her body.

I'm not that kind of man. I want all of her and so much more.

"It always boils down to that reason, huh?"

She nods. Her dropped guard disappears and her (E/C) irises are back to their lustful state. "Let's forget all that for now. Please?"

I can't say no to her.

I cup her cheeks and mash our lips together. She groans, tangling her fingers in my hair. She steps backward until we both fall on the sofa. Our mouths disconnects, and her tantalizing smile makes me forget my resistance.

Our clothes are discarded, left as a messy heap on the floor.

Her heels stay on. If she wears "fuck me" heels, she's going to get fucked while wearing them.

When we're naked, I tell her to bend over the arm of the sofa.

"We're doing this my way," I whisper huskily in her ear.