THE SUICIDE || A BTS AU

What Happened Was Unspeakable

  "What have I become, my sweetest friend ....

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everyone I know goes away in the end." 

[YOONGI'S POV] 

Whenever you wake up from a nightmare, it goes away instantly. Sure, you will still remember it and maybe have the same nightmare another time in the future, but you forget it eventually. 

Not my nightmares. I'm living them. 

...Ever since Kim Taehyung died, life hasn't ever been the same. For anyone. Especially for me. You could say that I was one of Kim Taehyung's best friends, but if I'm being honest, I don't really think I knew him at all. Yeah, we hung out a lot and shared details and memories in our short bonding time, but I didn't know what he was like. What his personality was like. What he had gone through. Maybe even what he had done in the past to make him end up like this. To make us end up like this. He just seemed to be an empty spot in a fully painted canvas. A black lie in a plethora of white honesty. Dead on the inside but fully alive on the out. I think that's what drew us together. Though some people say that opposites attract, I think that most of them are amiss. What drew me and Tae together was our bond through tough times. Our bond was nothing like any with any of his other friends. Our bond was more..realistic. Though we stayed friends, we had known that some of us would drift apart from the rest, and that our friendship would end because of that. In this case, Taehyung was the one that drifted, sailed away from the others. Though the rest of us are still friends, some are reacting worse than others in these circumstances. 

..Me? Well...

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I remember seeing him, laughing and walking with his friends. Too occupied to remember what he had done to his ex-lover only about 2 months ago. It seemed like he didn't even care. All of the students were still gossiping about Taehyung and him, which had already set me off. They had said things like, "I heard that Taehyung hurt him first", "He was a fool for shouting at him" and even things like "It was his fault. He killed himself". I told them off. But him. Just to see him looking happy and not caring about his issues made me sicker than I already was. 

Himself. His stupid fucking self.

..Jin and Hoseok tried to hold me back. But I wriggled out of their tight grasp on my arms and ran as fast as I could toward that asshole. I had an urge for revenge that I would send out over him and his acquaintances. So I did what I thought was right. I threw myself on top of him, knocking the wind out of him as he yelped. My ears were ringing as my friends and his shouted over his voice. That only made me even more pissed. I jabbed him on the side of his head and shot a few blows at his face which made his nose start puffing up and turning red. He tried pushing me off and kicking me rapidly, but I held on with all of my grip.  I forced my hands onto his neck as I starting strangling him with most of my muscle. He choked and more kids came over, surrounding us in a circle as our one-sided battle continued. I heard him screech for help, but everyone was yelling over the noise. My arms started giving out and my vision blurred, but that didn't stop me. I recalled all of the times that he had hurt Taehyung in my sight and I started hitting him harder with faster blows. I screeched as I felt my throat getting tight and my face turning red. After he sobbed and begged for me to stop a few more times, two strong teachers hurled us apart. One grabbed my arms and forced them behind my back. I howled for him to let me go, but my angry and hateful sobs drowned the painful shrieks out. I got sent to the principal's office after that, and got suspended for 10 weeks. 

As for Jimin, he had to go to the hospital to get stitches and fix the broken nose I had given him. He didn't get in trouble at all. He didn't get in trouble because no one knew what he did. How ill-minded he was. How unstable he was without someone to hurt. Someone to torment. Someone, in his mind, to "love." 

..After that incident with him, no one has ever looked at me the same way, not even any of my friends. Everyone seemed to be scared of me, or a little frightened whenever I talk to them. They don't want to end up like Jimin. Though this does piss me off a little, I have learned to deal with my emotions through immediate counseling and therapy. But I know that this won't help at all. The hate I will have for Jimin, and anyone who has ever hurt Taehyung, will never secede from my mind. 

Like a nightmare, it should go away, but for now, this curse will stick with me for a long time. I guess, in this situation...

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"good things never last, but bad things will always remain."

[POINT OF VIEW ENDED.]