Letters To My Men

Marvins Room

"I like you. But I know you don't like me back so..."
"It's not that but..."

But WHAT?

Till this day, I still wonder what you wanted to say. I still wonder wether that meant you did like me, but you had other things to focus on. I still wonder if it was your attempt at making me feel better. I want to know but there is no use in asking.

I told Fried Noodles I liked him the 11th of February 2017. I was not straight up rejected, and to be fair, I'm not sure if that would have been best.

We agreed we would remain friends because we enjoyed our conversations. Later that night, my friend told me he was sad, sitting on the couch and listening to Marvin's Room by Drake.
"He said you were shaking. He feels really bad he is even sick to his stomach. He's listening to Marvin's Room."

I didn't know the song, so I gave it a listen.

I'm just saying you can do better....

Call me ridiculous all you want, but that song still makes me cry. For me, it's my song... with him. Kind of. It's a song that reminds me of this day. Of the day I gave myself away to the only guy on this earth I can claim to love passionately, recklessly. I had never been more vulnerable. It reminds me of the last time we were close.

Did I mention how we became really good friends?

Well, a week after my confession, he stopped talking to me. To me and to all of my friends.

Things were never the same after the 11th of February 2017.